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Short version: DH quit his job without consulting me and now wants to move our little family (us and 10m old -) several states away for a good job opportunity, but I want to be here. Advice? version: My husband and I are 30, married 4 years, and have a 10 month old. We have a generally happy marriage and DH is a good husband and father. He tries to do right by me and I to him. I am currently a SAHM, quitting my job after the birth of my to care for him since DH has much more earning potential in his career. We both grew up in LA and moved back here after college to start our lives near our families because this was (extremely) important to me and (to a lesser extent) him. We live close to most of our relatives (our parents, siblings, neices, nephews, extended fam) and we both genuinely like being close to them. Also, we bought a fixer-upper several years ago and have poured our hearts into it (with the help of my dad), and now live very happily in our quaint home. DH and I have our ups and downs, but usually have a damn happy home life and marriage. DH's work life is another story. DH works in tech and is a very smart dude. He did not get an MBA after college and is having a hard time career wise because of that. He was working at a small/medium sized company in a director level position, but was unhappy because the position was not challenging and did not have a distinct career path. The money was OK but we were having a hard time getting ahead after losing my income, although we do not have any debt beyond our mortgage and some professional debt. I knew he was not happy at his job, but one day a couple months ago, he came home and told me that he was put into a meeting that forced his hand and HE QUIT HIS JOB. He had two months to find a job before he would need to leave, but his last day was a couple weeks ago. We are OK financially until the, but he need a job. I'm still upset and having a hard time dealing with this. He has apologized and said he regrets his decision, but I feel angry and hurt that he made such a huge life decision without consulting me. I feel this move was risky and irresponsible (very unlike him), and it makes dealing with the following situation even harder (cont) sexy teenage girls Little ComptonTechniy, he isn't putting his penis in another woman's orifice. However, what he IS doing is stealing the time he SHOULD be devoting to growing his own marriage and relationship and spending it on cheap thrills. That takes away from the intimacy that your marriage ought to be providing to both of you. I'm trying to imagine the kind of who has so much time on his hands that he CAN spend hours and hour of time to cybersex. A fairly boring and uninteresting, apparently, and now he's gone and gotten himself addicted to the rush he gets from faking sex with strangers. Pathetic. If you've made your position clear, and he continues to do it, then that reflects an extreme lack of respect for both you and your marriage. Do with that what you. I'd suggest marriage counseling for you, because he doesn't know how to be married, and you don't know how to deal with his lack of attention. BTW, this isn't the stuff of "confrontations". At some point, you need to be clear in your mind what you and not tolerate in a relationship. Once you are clear on that, and once you are convinced that what YOU want is at least as important as his gonads, it makes things much easier. "Dear, you are an adult and are free to do what you want. However, I, too, am an adult, and I do NOT choose to stay in a marriage with someone who does not respect me or our marriage. What's it going to be?" That's not a confrontation, that's a clear establishment of what you and not tolerate. beautiful girl
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