A hole in my heart.. m4w Hi. I am not even sure what I am going to write here, but decided to just put what came to my mind as I typed. You see, I am in love with my best friend, but now she has another, and I am really just broken hearted. I am not looking for a relationship.. I don't even want a new best friend, as she still is mine, and that will never change. but it is hard to talk about your heartache with the person who it is about, without being biased. I know when I talk to her, I make her feel guilty, and even that makes me sad. she does not deserve that. Feeling are a funny thing. they sometimes sneak up on you. I understand that, but it does not make my heart hurt any less.
I don't really expect anyone to respond to this, but if you do, I will respond. I will be fine, I know it.. it has only been a week, so I am still stinging, but I just needed an outlet to talk for a few minutes, other then bringing her down by reminding her how much I am hurting.
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You've basiy been married for as as I've been born. I gotta say props to you for sticking this through. These days everyone divorces just like that. It's so sad. You sound like a good guy and are trying to consider every other option possible and all potential futures before you make the final decision to possibly divorce. As much as I do not want to advocate divorce, especially after nearly 30 yrs, it seems like she is being quite selfish. And as you continuously let her get away with more and more, she becomes increasingly selfish. Now it has reached breakpoint for you. As one guy said above, I agree that some ppl use a "disease" as an excuse to behave inappropriately, but that judgement must be yours as to whether her behaviour is an exaggeration or solely the disease. I have been in a similar situation as yours, a selfish ex, uncompromising, and constantly not taking responsibility for her actions, etc. I too was making decent money, but had troubles saving. And when I finally did, our relationship suffered. Anyways, it was damn hard, and what you express is exactly the kinds of frustrations I dealt with. What I did was stand by my ethics, and judgements, and proceeded with my life. When I tried to give her more, she just kept asking for more, and then when I tried to give her tough, she would cause even more drama. So what I'm saying is you have to go to both ends of the spectrum (not sure what exactly you have done already), and if ANYTHING works. If not you just have to it quits. But do it when you really feel your heart can't take it anymore. Talk to her lots. don't talk to her at all. Do something crazy. Dress up as a and tell her "my I would like to wash your feet today". Something to get her attention so you can talk to her. Slap her in the face. Take her to a swing set and push her till she falls off. SOMETHING. SHE NEEDS TO WAKE UP!! If nothing works, then perhaps you do need to move on, and prepare yourself for it, and maybe she needs a time to herself, to sort things out internally. With no one around left to blame things on, and no one around to and support her, maybe then she'll wake up and realize what's going on. wanting to fuck in Ban La Houp
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