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I am not looking for a long-distance relationship; so if you are not mentally or emotionally ready for a move to North Alabama after two or so months no reason to contact me. I can handle the financial cost of meeting you in your city and moving you here, but only if we click.
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I am instead referring to the 2009 dark comedy movie by that name. Written and directed by Bobcat Goldthwait, who was evidently a genius this whole time. Who knew? We all thought he was a maniac. I never thought an amalgum of autoerotic asphyxiation, anal sex references, recreational drug use, and what I assume is actually Robin Williams' genitalia could be so cinematiy awesome.
This movie was great. Could it be my favorite? The acting was great, but it was the fantastic effort both in writing and directing that actually made me come as close to feeling feelings as I've come since the failure of my second serious relationship. Great characters, plot development, but no tits. Sad.
Haven't seen it? You should. If you like it, are between the ages of 27 and 32 and have a way with sarcasm and false enthusiasm such that your closest friends can't even tell when you're being serious or fabricating some ludicrous line of bullshit, then we should seriously consider getting together and discussing many things like why we haven't already met, Gilbert Gottfried being fired from Aflac, the best way to thicken a soup, why everyone else besides us is a moron, the proper use of the word 'whom', and a myriad of other things that I would have loved to have worked into this ridiculously long run on sentence.
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