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Several years ago my wife (girlfriend at the time) cheated on me. Initially I told her to get the HELL OUT but I let her talk me into giving her another. I made one stipulation and that was this guy (her ex-boyfriend) could NEVER be a part of her life again and if she ever allowed him back in, it was an instant kill switch for our relationship. Don’t get me the wrong, I am absolutely not the controlling type, but I told her that if she really wanted to repair the trust in our relationship, she can’t him ever again. I just don’t feel like that too much to ask. While she gladly agreed to this at the time, she always told me that making that stipulation was demeaning and showed her I did not REALLY trust here. After 13 years of being together, one year old, and her being months pregnant with our second, I found out she had taken a couple days off work to meet up with this old boyfriend (she had a nice little cover story for me). (Funny little note The second day she was out with him, I came home with dinner and flowers)This was absolutely devastating to me and though she had not actually (physiy) cheated on me, I knew there was no coming back from this. We ended up getting a divorce a few months back now but I’m really not yet over her, I loved her more than anything in life and I’m still trying to reground myself. What I’m really wondering about here is… Was I wrong in saying she could NEVER him again? I don’t feel like that was too much to ask but is seems like it had forever marred our relationship (at least for her)… She actually used this one rule to say I never trusted her which was always very untrue. She had her own friends and girls nights out all the time, I never once questioned her or gave her a hard time. Was this my fault? aa m 40 looking for very discrete nsaI believe I was born. I never felt the same as my peers and it took into my teens to sort out why that was. I believe people are for a variety of reasons. Some, like me and some by choice and some by individual attraction over gender attraction (like bisexuals). And then, experimenters or sexual tourists who just want to try a variety of things. As I said in another similar discussion, we responded to a simple argument of 'just stop being and chose being straight' with a simple argument of 'being isn't a choice' when life just isn't that simple. I for one can't imagine ever being attracted to a guy, but I also know that life is funny and we never know what is around the corner. I think attraction and sexuality are fluid and while we certainly have our preferences, and some from very early on, and some are forever, everyone is an individual with their own unique experiences and we can't make all encompassing statements that cover every one of us. Maybe for her, she sees herself as straight and was inexplicably attracted to her current partner. Instead of feeling like it wasn't within her control to like her, she decided it was more self empowering to define it as her choice. hot teens
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