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"However, one person has informed me that the therapist's job is to let the patient become in whatever way the patient thinks is. So, on the one hand, it would seem that there is no external or universal standard of, that it is % relative. But at the same time another person has said that there are known best practices, another one said that there are people they personally would not because they could not give them neutral advice, another said that it was wise to have lots of options since people are different and "fit" matters in the relationship." So the patient comes to a therapist and says, "I am always spending all my money when I don't need to and I'm in debt and I don't know how to change this, but I want to." Now we have the goal of the patient. The patient's idea of "-" in this situation sounds like she wants to function inside her budget but doesn't. So she and her therapist explore that her behaviors behind it, her feelings behind the behaviors, etc. She come to the realization that she shops for things to make herself feel special so they try to come up with other ways to fill that space without spending her money. (Notice in no part of the is the therapist's feelings, judgments or even thoughts on the issue have any relevance to this process.) I'd the the run of the mill talk therapy. the terms "therapist" and "counselor" are often interchanged often incorrectly. Most often a "counselor" is not a licensed therapist, but a "therapist" or "clinician" is. It is the latter that most likely be following the best practices for a mental health therapist. Regarding "fit": therapy *is* a messy science because personalities are involved. So I not feel comfortable with a therapist who has a certain style or personality. Even though they act within the same set of guidelines personality leaks through. And styles. Within the practice I worked for one therapist's office had incense burning and big cushy chairs and cushions on the floor and another had a desk with two hard chairs facing directly at one another. Or within talk therapies psychoanalysis might annoy some (exploring one's childhood/formative years) or cognitive behavioral therapy might feel impersonal. m the girl who stole my heartHere is how I it- I am a regular lurker and sometimes contributer. I have top posted and responded and never really had a problem with the regulars slamming me. Your posts seem to be designed to draw attention/manipulate attention in your direction. Even in these initial posts here indicating that you changed your handled ended with something along the lines of- there is a story here..ASK ME ABOUT IT! ASK ME, ASK ME .And quite frankly, attention seeking and manipulation is exhausting to deal with. It is a high maint. behavior whether it is on or off line. Your other posts about marriage equality came off to me as condescending. Your whole "I am being shrewd" is more of an example of this. Its a cover for something. I don't know what-maybe insecurity. Its okay. But own it- you didn't come in here hoping to be shrewd. You came in here hoping to find a community- you said this before. So which is it? Be confident in yourself, be your own person, be open to listening and engaging. People respond if you write something that interests them or moves them and you answer them. don't leave things hanging, like oh, there is a story about little old me- if you care at all you ask me about it. Its manipulative behavior. Just like in real life. And honestly, in a forum, you are going to be hurt if you are basing your self worth (or online self worth) in whether or not you can educate people. Some people are just like that- you could say the sky is blue and they would say it is green But I am curious- did you really believe that coming into a space for queer woman and posting about marriage equality was going to help you understand why "they" are against it? hookup dating
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