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ca65 looking to develop a friendshipyou don't have a good relationship, and, on the other hand you don't have a good relationship. Society has trained you to believe that you have an obligation to remain physiy unsatisfied in your relationship yet you are responsible for your wife's orgasm at the same time. Both are untrue. It is true that you are married to a selfish person. I would suspect that while you can recite things that she does that are 'giving', she is modelling what she wants to receive. Her lack of empathy is not something that you can bring gently to her attention with positive results. She is already aware. Your self doubt is a reasonable reaction to your circumstances, and should not be misinterpreted as insecurity. The attitude you have expressed is emotionally confident and secure and is similar to that of those happy in open or polyamorous relationships. Under different circumstances it might be a constructive direction for you but definitely definitely definitely NOT with this woman. Whether or not she is bi or lesbian is absolutely irrelevant and it is important that your intrigue does not persuade you to rationalize that fact away. Not only is she selfish, but she is completely comfortable willfully and consciously hurting you. That is not the sort of thing that go away with an honest conversation and a good cry. Whether or not she changes is important if you have as you need to maintain a relationship, but it is NOT important to you on a personal level. You or not remain friends after this dissolution runs it's course. "My wife of 12 years and I have had some physical compatibility issues for quite some time now. She is cold doesn't want a whole lot to do with me (physiy), and it almost seems like she cringes when I try to touch her ." The tell here is that she is and must already be self aware, yet she has not sought to resolve the issue. "Anyways, I told her that it would make me jealous, but that I wouldn't stand in her way if it would make her happy." You should not stand in her way, but you should also not forget that by choice she has been standing in yours. Surprised that she could so easily be described? don't be. She made a choice to deceive you and it is in your nature to believe her. Namiste seeking date
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Fetishes are specific and important to those who hold them, so of course it can turn into a hot button topic. Even worse, generally when someone has a real knowledge of something and speaks directly and with passion about it it sometimes threatens people around them (that's just the way it is, unfortunately) makes them feel "punished" when no negative intent is involved. Sometimes I get really passionate about submission, and get irked when submission or subs get misrepresented either by those of the ilk or by those who are ignorant but never have I addressed it with the intent to punish that's like totally righteous dude, and not in the good way. It defeat me before I'm started over time. Its taken me some effort (I think) to even change what D/s looks like to my partner who had done a ton of kinky shit but had always felt not in tune with D/s and probably at times was turned off by it. Without definitions in some areas, none of us would feel passionate about stuff. It's *our* kink community, *our* D/s, *our* bdsm in general, and we need our definitions because it gives us a way to communicate why we do what we do. I don't want to just be lumped in as kinky I need to define D/s as well. without a def .this would all be lumped together as just 'stuff we like' we'd all be homogeneous, yuck with no definitions and that's not natural. Not every dominant wants to be lumped in with tops etc So especially here with the one person I know who has a serious fetish his intent never be to punish ignorance because then he'll never be able to stand up for what he feels is a very defined thing. Nobody would ever listen. And how do you describe a feeling? A fetish evokes a specific sort of feeling and reaction for those that hold it. Yes, the def vary depending on who you ask but I believe there is one answer to this and that is that it is a very defined and rigid set of conditions that cause a thing to be a fetish for someone. I feel the word "fantasize" should replace "fetish" in 99% of fetish conversations. girls in Long Pond, Newfoundland that want sex
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