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no, you've misunderstood or i misspoke he suggested the dinner, when the check came i said sweetly are you treating, since were celebrating my last day of class? he said: "No", melted down and dumped me as as we were no longer in public. so, it was not that i offered to pay. it was that my suggestion that HE might pay, made him feel like i was telling him he wasn't doing right by me, like i was complaining about his effort and pressuring him to do something he didn't feel like doing. so then i got the (upteenth) boot, promptly. well played re: "manly" yes, he gets brutish and goes into the cave, i couldn't have put it better myself. a full rmation of facial features and tone of voice and something like: "I'm DONE with this conversation!" which makes me feel about..2 years old. ive been only with him for almost years so its hard to remember any other kind of, i was just at dinner a large group of friends who ALL said they had seen their men cry. i was shocked. this guy has never shed a single tear in front of me. in all these years. i, on the other hand am emotional which he had said he "loves" about me. however, in the heat of the moment, i think it makes him uncomfortable. like he has to "fix it" (my tears) and he panics. last there was a moment where he lost his composure and snapped "Stop crying!" for some reason that memory ranks high on the bad ones. im making him sound like an abusive father i think another issue is, i dont open up to people much, so its not often that i get an outside perspective on things i tend to deal with privately.. i appreciate everyone who has given me feedback. its a real relief to hear some opinions and not just the same confused voices in my head. anr relationship 19342 ca
Have you told him how you're feeling? A couple thoughts I had to your post 1. You don't have to do everything together. If you want to go out on the weekends and hike, then go! Join a meetup group and then you can make friends with other people who enjoy that. 2. His lack of interest in sex is concerning. Has he been evaluated mediy? Does he like it differently than you like it? Were the first 3 years of your relationship good sexually? 3. You have been with this guy since you were 22. For a lot of people that means they have next to zero experience with dating and relationships so your restlessness is understandable. However, just because you are restless doesn't mean you need to throw the out with the bathwater. Go get new hobbies, make new friends, take a vacation there are lots of ways to spice up your life without ditching your relationship. Overall however, he has to be willing to work with you on bringing your relationship back. It sounds like it's time for a conversation where you each talk about how you feel about each other and your relationship and determine where you want to go. If you are stumped about how to begin that you could try something like "I you and I value our relationship, but lately I feel like we haven't been connecting. I would like to spend some quality time doing blah blah on such-and-such day. What would you like to do?" That should at least get the conversation going women single searchingI run a parent support program for a very at risk population. I deal with a lot of these issues, including issues around incarceration. First, I would NOT bring him to dad in jail. A going through this much needs routine and stability more than anything. Not spanking, not lengthy extreme punishment, not leaping from sport to sport. R-O-U-T-I-N-E. He need to know what to expect, and this takes time and a heck of a lot of from you. For most, it takes at LEAST 10x of repeating a behavior until it's internalized (and if you slip up, it's like you are starting from scratch), but for a with ADHD and ODD, it's going to take more. Jumping from thing to thing only teaches him that if he causes enough grief, you'll give up that strategy, ensuring that he'll do it again. I would highly recommend the video 1-2-3 Magic. Even if you don't go with that particular strategy (though I've seen it work wonders for some tough -) it has some great parenting tips. When I extreme behavior cases, there are a few area we always look at positive reinforcement (there should be at LEAST 4 to 1 positive to negative communication), routine, diet and exercise. You wouldn't BELIEVE how much behavior issues are tied to diet and exercise. If he isn't getting at least and hour a day of sweaty, breathing hard play, while eating a good diet and cutting out sugar, it be nearly impossible to make any additional headway. But the most important factor here is you. YOU need to feel stable and calm and in control and that sounds really difficult while trying to raise a with special needs on your own. I you seek out support join a parenting support group, get a good counselor, a parenting hotline, make some time for yourself. You need to take care of yourself to best take care of him. married women wanting sex
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