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For one thing, I have to be upfront and tell you that I do not believe in "self-esteem". Or, rather, I think the term has been misused to the point where it's hard to recognize. I think gelg is correct, in that self-esteem is more a matter of in one's own competency and assurance that one is capable of solving the problems that life throws at you. How does one develop that sense of competency and assurance? By doing it over and over and over again. By failing, sometimes, and realizing that you can pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get moving again after a disappointment either being fired, losing a relationship, not achieving a goal, etc. EVERYONE fails at some point in life, and it's what we learn from those failures that help us succeed in future endeavors. And here's the problem: There's a whole generation of whose parents brought them up afraid to allow them to fail, because they were afraid that it would "damage their self esteem." What we're now seeing is the result of that well-meaning but misguided notion people grew up under a false series of life "successes" where they were constantly told how wonderful they were. You know the philosophy: No one is allowed to lose, that's why everyone gets a trophy. Their ability to figure out ways around obstacles was never challenged, and when they finally DO face some kind of failure, they fall apart. Then there's the aspect of being inner-driven, rather than outwardly-driven. Outwardly-driven people spend a great deal of time worrying about what other people think about them, and trying to gain the approval of others even if that so-ed "approval" is fleeting or superficial, and sometimes, not even good for the person (.,). How can anyone have 'self' confidence when everything they do, think or feel is dictated by others? There is no sense of "self" they simply become mirrors. There's more but that's the basics. meet and fuck Dijon Dijon
I shared this on this forum before. This girl and my wife have been best friends and lovers since high school. When I met my wife I introduced my best friend to her. It was instant. They got married 6 weeks after we did. We were inseperable foursome. We always played together. 6 years ago her husband was killed in a motorcycle accident. Left her with a girl. It was a tremendous shock for all of us. She never got over him. She lives 2 blocks away and she is with us a lot. She and my wife are hot lovers and they get together on their own a lot. She is beautiful inside and out. We that she find someone and fall in again. She is only 33. But she totally shuts this out for now. lonely women in Finlandwe go to the a few times per month. he loves it. ive taken him to a 15 or so zoos and aquariums in the past, i had a big salt water reef tank and we would sit in front of it and talk about the hundreds of things living inside it. im taking him to colonial williamsburg this fall. i want to open his mind up to everything i can offer him. he was the youngest person by far at the greensboro symphony last time i took him there. matchmakers dating
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