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grandaddy in Blythe tonight why are you obsessing over someone who's out of reach? In my personal experience and observation of others, one tends to obsess over someone unattainable when one is not ready to pursue someone who would actually make a good partner. You're setting yourself up for failure because you're not really ready to move forward, because you have all this crap you haven't dealt with in a way. husband, face him, how he feels, separate from him or figure out an open relationship that you can both be happy with, figure out parenting for etc. If you can't sort things out with your husband you have to separate / divorce him first before you go putting energy into women. So go take care of things at home first, get on your own two feet, and in a year or two when it's all settled, THEN start thinking about women you want to date. Meanwhile, invest in personal toys and read erotica or watch porn as an outlet for your sexual energy. It'll help prevent you from getting it on anyone. This kind of thing applies to women who obsess over straight girls (unattainable) or partnered people (unattainable) and people who've already rejected them (unattainable). Unattainable people are safe people to obsess about because you get to direct all your sexual energy towards something that's not going anywhere, therefore you don't have to move forward or deal with reality. looking women Belton Kentucky
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I really, really hate to say this but it always be a 'live today as it is' kind of thing. It's awesome that the person went to rehab. It's great that s/he wants something different and you all want better for her, too. Support him/her as you can through this. Send notes of support. Enjoy your life and all the little things. BUT this not be a 3 to 6 month wait for a "result". This be a lifetime of work and successes and failures and potential heartbreak. My brother has been to rehab at least 20 times (that I know of) and he currently uses. He has had clean time sometimes 2 years at a stretch but he doesn't even try anymore. We have no relationship. He doesn't have my # because he only ed for money in the middle of the night or to be bailed out of jail. We are civil, even friendly, when there are family gatherings and I him but I can't support his choices and I can't, as sad as this sounds, get my hopes up again. What is even sadder is how he must feel about failing all of these times. All that said (probably too much) that doesn't mean that is your family's fate. I worked in a rehab and I saw a lot of successes. In my current job I both those who stay clean and those who cannot. There is never a clue that one do it and one not. But most important this is key even the successes had relapses along the way. Rehabs often tell them that "relapse is part of the process" and it is. It's like they often want to test to if they can use in moderation. Test to if all those things they learned in rehab are true. Some never make it out of the relapse. go to rehab several times before it "takes." Some don't relapse for years and almost need a refresher rehab after so because they forgot to remain vigilant of themselves and take care of themselves. This be a lifetime of caring for him/herself. Like diabetes, she'll have daily maintenance to do. The hard part for you is to keep your but also be realistic and don't crash and burn if s/he relapses. It happens a lot before term sobriety "sticks". I highly recommend Alanon. You learn a lot and meet others who are where you are. They also have alateen for teens affected by other's addiction. e alanon and find a meeting near you and recommend it to your family and friends. Peace to you and yours. live chat in Al Haqawah
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