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How not to be eaten by a Duck Avoid smearing yourself in stale breadcrumbs unless absolutely necessary. If threatened by a duck, climb a tree. Ducks, usually excellent climbers, refuse to share trees with anything. a large automatic weapon with you whenever walking past a river or pond. Become a microbiologist and develop a duck form of myxomatosis. Become an electronics whizz and build a battery-powered thingy that repels ducks by means of ultrasound. Become a physicist and repel ducks. And everything. a tin whistle in your shirt pocket or handbag and practise duck-charming techniques to buy time to escape, should you be threatened. Move to Siberia. As far as I know, no ducks live near there. If you can't beat them, join them: Whilst ducks be vicious, they are civilised creatures and the idea of cannibalism disgusts them. Rather than just getting another pullover from your granny next Christmas, ask her for a duck costume instead. Do everything in your car. Eat in it, sleep in it, perhaps even travel in it. Never leave your car. Remember to check it for ducks first. Go on a safari holiday to Africa, go to the lions and jump out of the Land Rover into the middle of a hungry pride. I'd like to a duck try to reach you then. Contract Anorexia Nervosa and wear tight clothing to make sure the ducks realise they'd be wasting their time eating you. Sneak onto the set of a film about the middle ages and steal some chain mail. Ask God to reconsider whether they were worth putting on the planet in the first place. Be polite. Make friends with lots of plump, tasty-looking people. about with them all the time, after making sure you can run faster than all of them. Do not mistake ducks for geese. Geese allow themselves to be petted and stroked and even hand-fed whilst ducks take your arm off at the first available opportunity. mature women sex Freer@tallguy: I did not consider erotic fiction as a similar process to romantic fiction; thanks for that, a good point. @Ghost: the issue is this: I my wife and we do have a great relationship spanning, years; she is, however, a very insecure person and I have allways been mindful to not create any situations where she be uncomfortable, even when I feel there is no reason to be. I never mind doing this, it is part of our relationship. @tallguy: in the end, I don't "believe" I am doing anything past our relationship boundaries but I "feel" I am; my querry here is not whether or not I should be allowed to do it, rather, whether or not you folks would feel it's right or wrong if you were in my shoes. I am basiy externalizing my internal conflict and asking the broader community for your 2 cents -your personal barometer if you :) :) singles swinger
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