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I am saying one can have boundaries without ultimatums and severing contact. I suspect the dynamics of the situation you describe are quite different. It wasn't two proud males in a stand-off. I don't know how your client related to her daughter. What I know is a power struggle isn't the place to start. On any issue, one can err in either direction. Doormats have to solve people problems by becoming more firm; hotheads are, IMO, better advised to become more patient and flexible. Little egos need to focus on their own needs; big egos need to get their ego out of the way. I suspect your client has a history of being TOO forgiving. In this case, I don't how dad acting like god's gift to the helps a not act like god's gift to his girlfriend. Nor do I benefit in depriving an at risk grandchild of a presumably loving grandfather. female seeking male Houjinhu
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