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the 28 single father. don't believe for one New York minute there's 'nothing' you can do and when the time is right you'll move on. That could very well be the most untrue statement I have ever seen posted and sadly a lot of people believe it. Take your post as a prime example of self defeating and self fulfilling prophesy. With a few slight tweeks the entire post can change how you approach this issue.. I feel so alone. I won't make new friends, I feel so different now. It's been two years and I'm still not right! I ever be normal again? I won't or don't even make small talk with people. I've tried the bar thing, I've slept with other people and it has felt awkward to me. What do I do? this 'can't' bullshit is just that, bullshit. don't deify your problems, they are NOT all powerful, far from it. You can defeat them but first you have to accept them for what they are. They're fears, that's all. You're afraid to make new friends, you're probably chickenshit about being rejected or looking like a loser. Self esteem of a gnat and you've found out that trying to patch that hole with bar pussy has worked about as well as pounding your testicles with a ball peen. Other people's opinion of you does not supply your self esteem dude, you have to do it. You think that being divorced somehow makes you less of a person? That acceptance of someone somehow get you back in the 'normal' club? HA! Time ain't the key either it's how you spend the time that counts. Sit down and write down what makes you tick. What do you really like about yourself? And if you say nothing break out the ball peen. Who's the you you wish everyone could? There's a catch now this is you and ONLY you. You know, shit like hard worker, maybe sense of humor..you'd like to consider yourself kind a good human being. Think HARD on this because the next step is BEING that person. Take the next six months being as much like that cool person you really want to be and share that person with other people and don't give a rat's ass if they like it or not. Like NIKE just do it. IF you really do that, I'd lay odds you'll start feel fucking normal again. Start small and build up, never stop..don't let yourself. A real effort. What do you have to lose? sexy bigger girls- out socially outside of work? Before you worry about whether or not to strike out on a romantic pursuit of this fella, why not try just hanging out as friends. a ball game, go to a comedy club, go bowling. Do something fun and enjoyable, but not romantic in tone. if you he still seems as appealing away from the flickering fluorescent lights. It might be that the "chemistry" you guys have is restricted to the ever-so-slightly dangerous setting of the office, or the converse; that work is so boring, the mild flirtation spices up the day. Taking your interactions out of that context can start to clarify your real potential. And allow you the freedom to talk in greater detail about your personal lives without it seeming pointed in a romantic/sexual direction. If the chemistry remains, proceed slowly and talk about each step before you take it. Consider seriously if the possibility of leaving your job is worth whatever you think might develop. I have seen this kind of thing work before, and I've seen in explode. I think if both people are mature and go in with eyes open, it'll be fine. :) attract women
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