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i m single and so bored miami dade of marriage, I can tell you that sex isn't always for both of you every time you have sex. Sometimes you go through the motions because you want to make HIM happy, and sometimes visa versa. The thing is, though, once you get into the motions, the hormones usually follow. don't put off sex just because one of you isn't in the mood. It doesn't HAVE to be so damn synchronized., if you're so up all the time on what YOU can get out of this marriage, then you'll never know the of giving to him. is about giving, not taking. It's been mentioned before, but I don't know if you caught it and I don't feel like scrolling down to. You need to pick up a copy of the book The Languages , or just read a short version online (concepts are the same either way, don't necessarily need all the lengthy examples and case studies in the book). It sounds like you two are right out of this book. you do that? Basiy, it describes how each of us feels loved in different ways. It sounds quite clear that you feel loved when he gives you gifts. I'm not quite sure what his language is, but possibly it's verbal in what you say to him. If that's true, then your refusal of his apology last night would have cut like a knife. The book is very enlightening. Helped me to that my hubby's language is acts of service. Words, gifts, physical touch, etc. don't matter to him. But watch him when I cook his favorite meal, give a BJ, change his bed sheets (he loves that), or massage his feet. I'm helping him to that my language is words, but can't get him to read the book. Just trying to show him that words cut me deep, but they can also uplift me to the highest heights. What he says to me means more than any gift or little chore he does. Likewise, I've learned to watch what he does since doing acts of service mean to him, I watch when he does something for me. He's showing his. (BTW, I haven't received a V-day gift in oh, maybe 10 years. But you can bet your ass there's no ice on my windshield in the mornings, even if his is buried in snow.) horney mom Bicking
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