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Even if you never do it again- it's going to eat at you for years, coloring your most platonic interactions w/the opposite sex(I shouldn't assume it was a woman you cheated with- though.) If you tell your wife she might say she forgives you, but it come up again at the most random times. Search your soul and find out what made you do it in the first place. If your honest you might find that maybe married life isn't for you < tough for a dude to admit b/c marriage is a sweet deal for men, usually> better to know yourself and embrace who you are than live a lie. Its a better example for the to happy parents even if they are happier apart. You asked what to do: the fact that you posted on the divorce forum says to me that you are kind of in the marriage- ending frame of mind. Pull up your socks and roll with it- Good luck. sexual Thomson chat onlineI am not a lawyer. CA allows reimbursement for community debts expenses paid after separation using separate property funds, with certain limitations. Marriage of Epstein. For example, you make the monthly payments towards a car, mortgage, credit card, etc. acquired during marriage using your post-separation income, you get 50% of your post-separation payments back. UNLESS you drove the car, lived in the house, or added to the credit card debt. Further, you also have a duty to support your and wife, so arguably thedebts expenses paid after separation should be applied towards your support obligations owed from to now. Meaning you won't get that money back (a limitation imposed by Epstein). You should argue that you are entitled to reimbursement for at least a part of the debts and expenses you paid after separation. On the other hand, your Wife argue that all the debts and expenses you paid after separation should be applied to your obligation for support. Similary, you should argue that the community funds spent by your wife after separtion should be applied to your support obligation, or in the alternative that she reimburse you for 50% of the funds spent on questionable items (Sex toys, her boyfriend, etc.) but not for the chidlren or living expenses. You need to have documents supporting the date, amount, creditor and source of funds for each and every payment you want reimbursed, and of each spend by your wife, or you fail for lack of evidence. Any reimbursment is usually paid in the form of a "credit" against the amount of community property awarded to you in the divorce. There is no clear answer as to what debts/expenses are reimburseable and what is considered support. At trial, a judge would decide however they fit based on the evidence. At settlement, its up to whatever you are willing to accept. The settlement judge should understand the issues and help you frame an acceptable settlement, so utilize their experience/knowledge. video chat rooms
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