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normal easygoing intelligent guy looking for dirty talk you can't make her happy. You're at your wits end enough to come here and ask us advice givers for our opinions. Which means, you've got no idea what you're doing. And you know what? You shouldn't. Even if you were a psychiatrist you shouldn't. Because it would be, as they it in the industry, a conflict of interest. The ugly truth of the matter is that when you date someone broken like this you can't fix them. While it sounds romantic its something straight out of fiction that is some overwhelming all powerful device that can solve all the world's, and people's personal ills. Tell that to the couple madly in with addiction problems. Or the posters who come here complaining about their bi-polar spouse. This is a serious mental pathology that needs intensive counseling and treatment. Not something you can treat with your. At the very least, you might be able to support her through intensive counseling to try and "fix" this. But I'll let you know, there's no fixing things like this. There's just developing the proper coping skills and tools that make it easier on her. And let me give you a little advice that you're most likely going to learn the hard way in this situation. The broken ones you help to put themselves back together again? When they're all fixed, confident, and secure in themselves? You know how they show you how grateful they are for your support? They leave. They become strong well adjusted people who no longer need your co-dependency to cope with their issues. And just like some of these people turn to and alcohol, others turn to relationships to make them feel better. With the language you use this is an almost textbook case of co-dependency to cope with sexual trauma. You're co-dependent on her and she is co-dependent on you. I've been in your shoes twice in my lifetime. And I wasn't really willing to hear people tell me I was co-dependent until I came to the realization that all my relationships crashed and burned in very tragic, very fiery ways. You're not willing to hear it now, but hopefully planting the seed help you in the future. Co-dependency isn't. And you're only satiating her addiction to relationships, not "fixing the hole in her heart with your -".
looking for some one to spend forever with in reality all it takes is the seed. When the water comes or the tending comes is relative to that initial suggestion. It can sit, and never become anything or it can at some later point thrive, its not really the environment in which it grows, but more so the reason to grow or die. We could probably argue this all day and never be right or wrong though. At the end of the day and in terms of responsibility my believe is it always comes down to intent which is probably the hardest thing to find truth in especially if a finger is being pointed.
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