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"However, one person has informed me that the therapist's job is to let the patient become in whatever way the patient thinks is. So, on the one hand, it would seem that there is no external or universal standard of, that it is % relative. But at the same time another person has said that there are known best practices, another one said that there are people they personally would not because they could not give them neutral advice, another said that it was wise to have lots of options since people are different and "fit" matters in the relationship." So the patient comes to a therapist and says, "I am always spending all my money when I don't need to and I'm in debt and I don't know how to change this, but I want to." Now we have the goal of the patient. The patient's idea of "-" in this situation sounds like she wants to function inside her budget but doesn't. So she and her therapist explore that her behaviors behind it, her feelings behind the behaviors, etc. She come to the realization that she shops for things to make herself feel special so they try to come up with other ways to fill that space without spending her money. (Notice in no part of the is the therapist's feelings, judgments or even thoughts on the issue have any relevance to this process.) I'd the the run of the mill talk therapy. the terms "therapist" and "counselor" are often interchanged often incorrectly. Most often a "counselor" is not a licensed therapist, but a "therapist" or "clinician" is. It is the latter that most likely be following the best practices for a mental health therapist. Regarding "fit": therapy *is* a messy science because personalities are involved. So I not feel comfortable with a therapist who has a certain style or personality. Even though they act within the same set of guidelines personality leaks through. And styles. Within the practice I worked for one therapist's office had incense burning and big cushy chairs and cushions on the floor and another had a desk with two hard chairs facing directly at one another. Or within talk therapies psychoanalysis might annoy some (exploring one's childhood/formative years) or cognitive behavioral therapy might feel impersonal. is there like any girl even real on hereNo one would want of those things if they opened the mythical 'here's my future', envelope some years ago. But, these somewhat beautiful scars every single one of them, make for this beautiful, travel, stories to tell leather jacket of your life. I think when we imagine that sappy tear inducing Hallmark card ad of the old couple with white hair celebrating an amazing anniversary some years down the line we are not just seeing the graceful dances, the hot friday sex, the travels, we two people who know every single detail of every painful moment and that they, you, were there the next morning , still with them Imperfections, of course that's the real 'us.' To think everything or could be perfect for all, that is crazy talk, stress creating and a someone delusional circle to stand in. In the end, ask the question say 'yes' more, learn to dance. Be quiet and just listen sometimes, even if you think you know how to fix their problem. Save for a rainy day because, there be one and then that storm that they can't tell you about that just rips into your very soul and hits you in the mouth, that pride laughs as it gloats above you But, you get up. Not every one does. " The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.". Say 'your sorry, first.' Say 'please just a bit more ' and 'thank you.' Tell them the truth when you made a mistake, made them mad. Identify the problem, how it made them feel, that you are sorry and how your behavior change and why, when. Create a note or two and leave it in their jacket pocket Write them a letter reing all you can about that very first second you saw them and you gasped how exciting it was to get their number or when that door knocked for that first date ! Howe about with the next week or so, you triple XXX the time for oral sex for your partner. Do a chore or two for a few months on your own without saying anything. Take their car and go wash it, fill it with gas. Like a journey, pul over on occasion and read the map of life, yoru relationship, goals and where you really are so much easier to make small corrections then to fix total train wrecks. In the end, today is not about luck, but your choice. adult chat room
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