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So I've been in a relationship with a wonderful for almost 4 yrs, he is amazing, no problems at all, yada yada yada. He just moved in with me about 5 months ago, and everything has been great except for this one thing: We have totally opposite schedules ( I work 9-5 he works either graveyard or swing but usually gets home in the middle of the night like 2 am or 3 am, sometimes 4). When he gets home he is always really quiet, but when he gets into our bed, he likes to snuggle up really close and give me kisses, ect. I don't like to be touched when I'm sleeping, and usually kinda mumble something like "leave me alone" when he does this, which makes him feel really bad (according to him). I feel guilty that I'm probably the only chick in the world who complains about her boyfriend trying to snuggle, but I really do just want him to leave me alone when I'm already asleep. How do I tell him I just want to be left alone without being bitchy? Thanks for any advice!! clean my office nudeI know, I sound very oracle'ish', and wise when I say that jk but I did stay at a holiday inn express last night jk on that too. Yes, you need to be able to trust each others wants. I communicate I want to swing, partner communicates they are receptive and would enjoy it as well, we talk some more about it, we entertain what ifs, we talk a little more, we continue talking, we talk as we 'date' other potential swingers then we talk their legs off about swinging too. (That's how I imagine the conversation would play out). It shouldn't feel tedious or difficult to swing and and have fun but be safe too. Throughout the process nothing should feel forced. If you feel a hiccup then you stop and evaluate what is bugging you or any other persons involved before you continue. There's a certain level of excitement you all want to be feeling. A feel good sort of vibe. Your rules and codes of conduct should gel condoms, testing, what orifices are going to be entered with what items and body parts etc. It's hard to generalize it but I think there's just overall something that makes it feel like it is progressing well, and then there is everything that should make you stop and start talking again. But yeah, bringing swinging into a crippled relationship is a bad idea before you figure out what's hijacking the relationship in the first place. When you can smile and laugh and feel good about yourself, your partner, each other and the idea of swinging then is the time to start exploring it. Again, this is all my opinion :) I can't make the blanket assumption it is good for a relationship because it just doesn't seem like a statement that needs to be made in regards to swinging. sex clubs
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