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the Butch-Femme Society's monthly meeting about 3 months ago (acutally it was 3 months and "part B" was 2 months ago, but I missed "part B" I'm still kicking myself.) Of course the answer is very individual and not objective at all, but here's my "readers' digest" answer. No non-sense (which does not mean lack of a sense of humor), not-forced, not-trying-to-hard-affectation, real, comfortable with who she is without obviously over-analyzing herself. Confident. Someone who takes care of herself in the broad, term sense of the phrase. (I beleive we take care of what we value.) In other words, not only showers regularly, and dresses in clean clothes, but also eats well, exercises, doesn't smoke, knows how and when to relax and has a sense of priorities "don't sweat the small stuff." And I can occasionaly the female side of her through the butch. The feminine voice, maybe smallish hands, a penchent for chit-chat something "girlish" just under the surface of all that butchness. Other than that, I haven't really spent any time at all thinking about it much ;) pay day for lady
Lemme tell you what this approach do for you: It REQUIRE the two of you to communicate and compromise about money, set goals together, hold each other accountable for shared expenses, AND to be responsible to your own finances. It's a training exercise to teach you both how to manage finances together so it doesn't become a wedge in your relationship. If either of you doesn't hold up your own responsibility, it's obvious where the problem is and it can be dealt with quickly and honestly, together. It also does not unfairly put a greater burden on either of you, nor allow one to freeload off the other. It also leaves you both with your own fair share of income to spend as you please, without accountability to the other BUT *WITH* accountability to yourself! You can't overspend what you don't have, and you couldn't spend it from the joint account without being caught with hands in the cookie jar. As you become more practiced and responsible to each other, the system morph into something more joint. If either of you is irresponsible, it naturally separate your finances as you pick out the offending parts from the joint account or joint expenses (they'll become discretionary AFTER all other bills are paid). Ideally, by the time you both become trained to this system, the way you each *think* about money (and therefore, spending habits) become very similar to each other’s. At that point, you need not be afraid of money breaking your marriage apart, and you can consider merging everything if it suits you. If the whole thing goes south and you break up, you have only to split what’s left in the joint account, and divide the savings. Your own accounts are safe. There’s my 2-cents. lonely wife DijonIn seeking sex tonight for raft for the cure. Wife swapping
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