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Normally, I'd say a lie detector test has no place in a relationship, and if you can't base the relationship on mutual trust and respect, then you don't have a relationship (or it's going to end, anyway). But you don't have the basis for a relationship, so this isn't a normal situation. Why? Because you've already demonstrated lying and cheating behavior (so the onus is on you to prove you're trustworthy), and your BF has some character trait (whatever it is) which caused him to be locked away from society. So . that being said, what have you got to lose? If you take the test and fail, or he fails, the relationship's probably over anyway. Trust cannot grow from this. But if you both pass, there is a *slight* you can clear the air and agree to start over. *BUT* I'd only do this ONCE with the clear understanding that it's a one-time event, never to be repeated. Tell him you feel it's embarrassing and disrespectful doesn't matter if he thinks it's no big deal, it IS a big deal to you and he should respect that. You'll do it once to clear the air, but no more. If you can't build mutual trust after that, then there's no anyway. At the FIRST sign of mistrust or lying behavior after the test, I'd advise either of you to pack bags and say goodbye. BTW I wonder about his reasons for asking you what questions you would ask. This is suspicious, as though he's been preparing his answers. I'd change the questions to come at the same issues from a different. And I have to ask How since he's been off parole? What was he convicted of? What significant changes has he made to ensure he's not tempted to repeat that behavior? telephone sex 94509
I make myself wait a minimum of one hour before I respond to a heated issue. We bickered kind of bad early on because we're both set in our ways and lived alone all these years. Moving in together can sure ferment little cutesy things into full blown "holy shit you're annoying!" rants. Then I bit my tongue, tried a different an hour, day or week and started seeing better results than some of the methods my parents used to use. MY PARENTS WERE INSEPARABLE It took highway patrol officers, 2 shrinks and really big shepard to separate them sometimes. ;) matchmaker wing woman wantedAnd what price are you willing to pay for what you want? I guess what I'm asking is do you really want to be married to this? Even if he never, ever changes? Are you willing to walk away if he doesn't? I think you'd be wise to think and hard about that. I have to say, the controlling, the belittling, the drinking it's all very worrisome. Walking on eggshells is hardly part of the marriage vow. Is this a recent change, or has it slid into this over time? If he's being abusive to you or the, walk away at any cost. You're giving your a glimpse into what life is like as an adult, and they tend to expect what they've been shown. Is this the life you want for your wonderful? But lets say for a minute that you guys are just in an awful rut. How do you guys discuss this stuff? It doesn't sound like communication is working well for either of you. It's not uncommon to get into bad patterns of communication. You push, he pushes back. It's human nature. Have you tried talking to him from a different? "I'm worried about you because you seems so unhappy, is there anything we can do together to make a nicer home-life for our whole family?" is much different than "why don't you want to have sex with me!?!" women seeking marriage
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