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I'm always astounded by the number of folks who seem to have as their relationship centerpiece, strict sexual fidelity. It gets to be so important, that sometimes I think it is seen more as ownership of another as opposed to relationship with another. It follows that they make objects of each other, and frequently expend their life energies with surveillance to enforce a list of rules and boundaries on each other, that frequently are counter to the species' instincts and they do it aggressively quite willing to take harsh, and even violent attacks as they dole out punishments. To me, not infrequently, it smacks of folly. There are so cultures around the world which affection and sexual activity as just good fun. They seem to community and each other as "us" and never objects. They share their food, home, and the like and they frequently have no games with winners and losers. They tend to have no fights, no bullies, and no victims. It is to our USA culture, impossible. But I've seen it work just fine. Sexual behavior is moral, not ethical. Ethics change very little both by generation and cross cultural. Morals, however, have wide variations, change over time, and are far less important than ethics. With that said, the bottom line is that even ethics are contingent upon situation. One last consideration = the "principle" of it. I'm gonna guess that in my lifetime (75), around the world, perhaps million human beings have been killed, by other human beings, over the principle of it. If that's not folly, I don't know what would be. looking 4 some one 4 sundayis part of the whole wonderful bath house experience. Everyone's there for sex and the freedom of expression that comes with that. If someone overtly asks for your hand in an activity you don't wish to engage, just say no thanks and keep on moving. I always at members of the gays who seem, generation after generation, to have an initial instinct for cruelty toward one another, and that, in a venue designed specifiy for the purpose of sexual expression. For me the world is a filthy and cruel enough place without adding more to it. Kindly say no and move on. Count your blessings that anyone finds you attractive enough to solict you. amateurs swingers
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