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While I adore strong women and always have, and while a woman "taking charge" turns me on to no end (actually ONLY strong women turn me on), there really is no concern about being at this point. I am well past the point where anyone can do anything to me. While I still feel in some ways like that small blonde boy, I am not a small and have a tendency to intimidate people without meaning to. This is why I also feel confused because, for example, the one woman I fell totally in with was very strong, dominant, but small and petite so I was not only following her lead and letting her lead me to exciting experiences that I would not have on my own, at the same time I felt extremely protective of her and DID protect her. That's where my confusion between submissive and dominant comes from she was "running the show" and I only wanted to please her but I also felt like her guardian, advisor in those areas she had less experience in, etc. How can I be submissive if I feel no need to be protected by someone, and feel more like a protector? That's what I ask myself. I have actually had women I don't know come on to me very strongly, grab my hand and drag me to their bed BECAUSE they felt that I had been their protector. (stopping abusive men from harassing them in a bar, etc.) I do have some very dominant aspects to my personality. That's why I feel confused. girl who want sex Commercesomething (NYT?) about how most all successful Wall St women have stay-at-home husbands. And they don't like to talk about it. But that makes sense if mom has a Harvard MBA and dad can't pull in that kind of money. I think your attitude is somewhat generational, (and shared by -) I think it be gone in years or so, the gender of the breadwinner make no difference. I think men and women get frustrated with supporting someone who is capable, but not pulling their own weight. That's what we a lot of here. Not someone pissed because hubby was in an accident, or is really working hard at school, but pissed at someone who doesn't want to get off their ass. And men complain about women not pulling their weight when the finances require joint participation. I thnk it goes to practicality. If you can be a one-income family, the one best suited for the workforce ought to be out there. If you're a two-income family, everyone ought to pull their weight. And BTW, one thing I did not expect when I stopped working full time for the move was the loss of esteem I felt at not bringing home a paycheck. I've been working since I was 12, I made a decent income and had always supposrted myself. Not having my "own" money bothers me, and probably like a lot of men, I feel a little bit less of a person because I'm not earnign anything. beach swinger
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