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I just had my first 3 weeks ago, so totally get the 'I feel like an asexual whale' thing. And I warn you, it's about to get a whole lot less sexy. First, you can't have sex for 6 weeks post birth. And on top of that, no sleep, infrequent showers, leaky boobs, stomach pooch, and birth images permanently seared into his mind. So, yeah, wise to work on none sexual ways to feel close. You might want to just have a conversation about that. Approach it like a problem to be solved. "Babe, I know sex is important to you what are we going to do when the comes?" I also understand what it's like to be with a less than romantic partner. I my DH completely, but he's just not the flowers and chocolate kind of guy. It use to bug the hell out of me. First, I had to really think about how important that was to me. DH is very good to me, so did I really need him to prove it in that way? I had to let it go a bit. The second part was being SUPER clear about my expectations. Things like '-, my birthday is coming up. I'd like to go to x restaurant and don't forget that lilies are my favorite flower!' Yes, it's not romantic to plan your own stuff, but it sure beats being disappointed. Then when he follows through, be very appreciative. The more DH got a feel for what I like, and saw how happy it made me, he started to take a lot more initiative. Lastly, don't put yourself out so much! Yes, I understand having sex because you want to please your mate, but don't have sex you really don't want to. That's only going to lead to resentment. I'm not saying withhold, but you need to make you desires matter at least on equal footing to his! Good luck. Congrats on the -! super sexy Sudbury freakA few days ago I posted about rehabs and whether or not people are successful their first time through. We are waiting right now- the implications are huge for my family. Like life changing huge. We have at least a 3-6 month wait starting now about whether or not things change for us. How do you deal with the uncontrollable? I know I have no control over this situation and I am trying to take it day by day. It reminds me of when a family member was diagnosed with cancer- after the crisis of the diagnosis and the whirlwind of supporting someone through treatment you just sat and waited for 6 months for the blood tests to come back to let you know if they are okay. What is your favorite method for getting through the rough patches? For keeping an even keel and "keeping calm and carrying on" when every fiber of your being wants to know how something is going to turn out? hot bbw
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