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Bourbonnais blues at for first date I would like to hear from either a person who has a term bf/spouse who loves to flirt or from a person whose been in a term relationship and they knows they’re a big ‘ol flirt but your partner loves you to death anyway. I have a boyfriend of 3 years (we’ve known each other for more) and he’s always enjoyed the attention when it comes his way, but lately I’ve noticed that for whatever reason, he’s become so comfortable or used to getting it that he now: A. Comments about other random or celebrity women he finds attractive in front of me in ways that none of our other male friends do. “She’s got PERFECT breasts.” Or who’s that? “Every guys wet dream.” B. There have been 3-4 instances in the past 3 years where a female friend or coworker of his has crossed the line and he didn’t speak up to reinforce appropriate boundaries (I’m not asking for a scene, a polite quiet comment or funny joke that gets the main message across would do just fine) I believe he is either in a clinging-to-my-bachelorhood phase since our relationship is on the cusp of being the Real Deal or this is a part of his personality that he have been trying to hibernate (though not very well) and now it’s coming to the painful light of day. If it’s a phase, I am trying to get us through it. If it is a part of his personality, I want to know how you ladies handle this kind of behavior? Or how you gentleman help your ladies understand that this is just a way you communicate and if there can be any reassurance that this behavior is not indicative to how secure/insecure you are in your current committed relationship? I have never been a jealous girlfriend. I totally admit that flirting has become a very common way for people to chit chat and have a nice time harmlessly. But I don’t do it in front of my partners out of respect. Because I don’t really care for it when it happens to me blatantly. However I’d like to try to do what I can and meet him halfway with this if he means it when he says he is very committed to me. PS – This guy is kinda behind me in the years of maturity. We’re the same age, but I have much more life experience in general.
18 20 something looking for older man Briefly my married "perfect family" friend who I TOTALLY respected looked up to came out 5 years ago divorced his wife. While surprised I tried to be supportive since they were like a second family. after he brought his new term BF to visit the bf was racist, trashy, demeaning, half his age (my friend is mid-50s), and was obviously using my friend. I kept quiet even when my once-strong friend cried every night. When I got upset they were having sex in my condo pool during the day pawing each other like teens everywhere we went I was ed uptight. Oh yeah the bf came onto me. After the visit, my friend asked if I slept with his bf (shudder) and I explained the bf came onto me. My old friend buys the bf's explanation that he thought MY bf was not good looking enough for me he wanted to help make me feel sexy wanted. Ugh! The I looked up to like an older sibling seems to have changed on every level. It's like a complete personality change and all our talks now are short I feel like a stranger. Having dinner next week to if I can salvage our old relationship but I am stuck!! Any tips on how to deal with this?
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