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of wanting to leave. Can't find the post, but somewhere in this thread the OP said she's been wanting to leave for a time. More importantly, there's more than one kind of blind spot. You and others accept her statement that he's a great guy and it's a relationship. Yet how often do we posters who say: My relationship is PERFECT, except for cheating/lying/drinking/violence or some other horrifying issue. While those be extreme cases, the fact remains: a lot of people have trouble seeing their relationship objectively. The OP has given it years. There are dozens of subtle ways people can suck the life out of each other. Read about conflict averse relationships: they can be stifling, inauthentic, deadly boring, and hell to get out of because both parties are too damn nice. The OP doesn't really know what's wrong, but feels like she's in prison. That doesn't necessarily mean she or her partner is the bad guy. But to me, it DEFINITELY means she should move on. ago I had a relationship with an uber nice guy who was crazy about me. I remember struggling to explain why I wanted to leave and am grateful to a friend who told me I didn't need a reason, didn't owe the world an explanation. I now that he was clingy, dependent, hadn't developed his own personality and was feeding off my energy/interests/ideas. Nicest effing in the world, but I'd have been institutionalized if I'd married him. Gallaway Tennessee bi teensThat's not to say we didn't ever argue; we did but it was rare and didn't lead to these despair feelings just arguments but never to the point of breaking up/threatening to break up, more of an exchanged point of view. Reactive EXACTLY how it feels we had a great relationship (sad to think of using it in the past tense). We were (and most of the time still are) each other's biggest champion, helping each other, working together to solve problems, just enjoying each other, etc. He's my favorite person in the world. I def read the books you suggest. I look into cognitive therapy, heck, I clearly need to talk to a trained professional if I'm even contemplating a divorce from the I -/our little 2 person family. And spot on: I'm guilty of talking about divorce, not him (I've brought it up twice). Not threatening it, but I get your point and know I shouldn't. And at least I recognize the need to shut up I honestly knew I did it but never knew how much it bothered him, he didn't want to make a big deal and now he's clearly been stewing on it for some time. Really appreciate all of your comments and your time, thank you. adult chat line
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