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In my experience, when someone has a lack of confidance like that, there are a few things you can first is to completely STOP criticizing them, stop bitching at them, don't offer suggestions or solutions unless asked for, build them up with praise for all the things they *do* do well, and don't make it comfortable for them to stay where they are at. Meaning, don't pay for their bills, rent, don't pay for every dinner you guys go out for, vacations, etc. But still do those things. That that means you two make a nice home cooked romatic dinner, but you go out to a nice restaurant with your girlfriends. You guys go camping, you go to the coast for the weekend with your sisters. You save money, you be responsible with what you earn, and set an example of how it should be. And encourage him where he needs it. I truly believe that you cannot change someone, specially by nagging and bitching. But you can lead by example. And make your relationship a safe place for him to feel secure enough to step out and take the risks he needs to succeed. lonely teens Corsicana sexmy, so I'm immediately thinking "hmmmmm " Sure enough, I was being dumped, albeit in a very polite, non-demeaning way. Said he likes me very much, very attracted to me blah blah. Said he'd been feeling awkward.. had to thikn about why. Realized that he "has to leave his job" (which involves travel, and required that he be based in Manhattan) he'd previously mentioned that he was going to retire in a year and that since he'll be leaving his job, he "must leave NY" I always got the sense that his NY apt. was just a crash pad for his job, and that his "real home" was his other place in a neighboring state, where he often went on weekends, but where I'd never been. He had also previously made veiled comments about someday moving back to West Coast where he's originally from, so I think by saying he now has to leave NY probably includes selling his home in neighboring state, and heading back West. So he said that he realized he shouldn't start something with someone in NY. Then added that he wasn't so sure we had enough to sustain a relationship anyway. I'm just really confused. If he'd said that he didn't want to me anymore cuz I didn't seem that into him, or he was getting mixed signals from me (due to my lack of "positive feedback" when he'd try to be a little touchy feely), that I could understand. Can guys be just as confused as women? Maybe it was about my lack of affection towards him but he didn't want to come out and say it, so he came up with other "excuses"? Or maybe he sorta did want a relationship with somebody even though he knew he'd be moving, and then for some reason he decided to move sooner, maybe BECAUSE I didn't seem into him? I always seem to try and rack my brains figuring out why men say certain things or do certain things, but I suppose men do the same thing about women? Maybe the one universal is that no one should ever try to figure out another person? That you can only take what they say at face value that you have no other choice? sexual encounters
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