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But I think they're all useful for telling you something different about the person. I'm still trying to figure out exactly how they all work together, which is part of why I was curious to hear other people's ideas. So everything below is just a tentative stab at this. I think D tells you how a person relates to other people, the world, and to themselves. Do they take care in their relations? Is it about them, or are relations reciprocal? Do they prefer immediate gratification or do they prefer the idea of gratification (fantasy)? I think B is important, but instead of WHAT the person is drawn to, I think it is more important THAT a person be passionate. I don't really care if they are passionate about music, or books, or sailboarding, or rabbits. But having a passion, and not just wimpy likes, indicates that a person is ALIVE, that they life itself. I think C tells you what a person admires, and also what they think of themselves, as well as what kind of power relations they conceive of between people. Those are all really, really important. Do they respect themselves? Do they want to fix other people? Do they want someone to control them? E is the least important to me, although I think it can give you insight into the order of importance a person places on competing desires. So a person might think family is important as well as happiness, but if they forgo their own happiness to keep their family satisfied, then it tells you which they value more. A is completely irrelevant, except insofar as it affects the way a person gets treated by other people, and so it shapes them in various ways. But I think the way that shaping happens is totally dependent on all the other choices above, so those are the important ones. amateur fwb Hanford
B is for bondage maybe for Bottom, but there's no corresponding T for top in this set of letters D is for dominance (the act) Dominant (the person) or Discipline (also an act) S can be for submissive (the person), submission (the act), slave (the person), sadism (the act) or sadist (the person) M can be for Mistress or Master (the people), Masochism (the act) or masochist (the person) horny wifes 21851to events at the Butch-Femme Society in New York. A very nice group of people. I think it comes from the couple who run it you couldn't find two more plesant women and their good vibe, as the leaders, trickles down throughout the whole group. I'm femme, I've gotten plenty of flack for being bi in multiple venues, including the butch-femme society. I've also been turned down by a butch (NOT from the butch femme society!) for being femme she's into other butches. When I've told this to other butches their eyes popped out of the their heads couldn't beleive it, didn't understand it. I've also sat in on a meeting of and lesbian veg*ns and heard "the world doesn't need another vegan lesbian." The point is, everyone feels discrimination from someone at some point, even in the supposedly most liberal environments AND in the very environments that are supposed to be specifiy inclusive of these vicitims of discrimination. And we've all had trouble understanding someone -'s choices, preferences lifestyles. Focus on where and who DOES appreciate you and let go of all the myrid persons who do not, or you're going to spend an awful lot of time and energy trying, probably unsuccessfuly, to hold back the tsunami of negativity based on other people's assessment and judgment of you filtered through their own preferences. Really, can you account for all of that for every single person you come in contact with? adult chat rooms
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