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cub looking to Ewan New Jersey So stop acting like a whiny bitch. You asked. You begged. You screamed, gnashed your teeth and probably even cried a bit. And what effect has it had? None. So yes, you need to decide if this is ultimatum time. Only you can decide this, no one can. Before you pull that trigger, you need to get your ducks in a row for either saying it, or not saying it. Sit her ass down. "-, I you. That much is evident in the fact I am going to say this: You have one week. In that week you either retain a counselor for joint sessions, presenting me with a card and the appointment, or I be presenting you with my lawyers card and I am filing for a divorce. (Or ending the relationship if you are not married.) This is non negotiable. If at the end of the 7 days you have not found a counselor, then your choice by default is ending the relationship. I am not your whipping boy, I am not your punching bag. I do not ask for respect, I demand it. I have given it to you and you have returned it with venom. Enough. This conversation is ended. As of now, (- the time) you have 7 days to think this over. I not speak about this again until 7 days from now." And then leave. Get up, walk out, get in the car, take a drive, walk around the block, etc. But do not get baited into the trap of discussing it. You give her 7 days, and for 7 days you be the bright and shining person you need to be, but you refuse to discuss it. If she brings it up, you simply look at the date/time and remind her that she has "X" amount of time left, and that the discussion is not going to happen until then. And then walk away. Wash, rinse, repeat as necessary until she either shows you a card with an appointment, or you go get your lawyer on the 7th day. Stop playing the game. It takes two to tango, and two to make babies, and two to be in the relationship. If she is not being part of the solution, then make the solution, without her. Get a lawyer, and get your life straight. There is no shame in acting like an adult. Now, if you choose not to pull the trigger on this? SHUT THE FUCK UP. It means you chose to let this continue festering like an un-lanced boil.
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