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a woman who is a stay at home mom can't be both independent and strong? I don't think I'm following. Everyone wants to feel 'needed'/'wanted' in some regard, but do you think perhaps you take it too far and choose partners who aren't actually a good match for you? For example, have you considered that a stay at home mom might also like to start her own home business. Or that an 'independent' might decide she'd like to stay home? What I'm saying is that what you're hoping for isn't mutually exclusive. You just need to strive for a balance. Find a partner who is happy with herself, and wants a partnership with you. Dependence on you isn't going to keep a woman from leaving. You being an amazing person and good partner is what keep a woman from leaving. What makes her happy? What makes you happy? An emotional trainwreck might need you, but eventually you'll get tired of the drama because you can't 'fix' it. A woman who only wants a career but not a family (and you want a family) isn't going to work. the lost lady from MiddletownWhat woman (or -) can revel in the of home and family, when they're worried about becoming a single parent? When the breadwinner spouse is showing signs of instability in the marriage or a selfish drive of his own, what's the SAH spouse to do? Continue breadbaking and vaccuuming as though nothing's amiss? ago, women just didn't have other options. Convinced by society and their families that a woman's place was in the home, they could NOT support their families well by herself. She HAD to do whatever necessary to entice the breadwinner to stay not because she loved the home life, but because she knew she couldn't support the family better on her own. Is *this* the kind of loyalty and devotion to family you'd seek, custodydad? Really out of fear and weakness, and not? Human nature seeks first to meet physical needs food, water, shelter. Once that's met, next most important is safety the security of finances and the home. Then and acceptance., a person won't be receptive to when they're starving. Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs read up on it. This is what drives wives and mothers to seek their own security in meeting their own needs they *cannot* depend on their spouse to provide for and them for rest of their lives. To put such blind trust in anyone is a form of suicide. You want things to go back to how they used to be because it was easier for men and they had more control. But you're turning a blind eye to how this arrangement has affected women throughout the ages. It's a social revolution in progress, which I think (-) one day find the right balance between home, work, family, and stability for everyone. But that's not going to happen until men let go of the need to control and repress to their own benefit. But it has to be equal power shared, custodydad. As a society, we need to reach that stage of self-actualization. That's not going to happen as as half of us are still striving for security. sex meeting
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