I can't keep going like this much longer w4m (castro / upper market)I know you won't see this but lord knows I'd hate to send another text you won't bother reading about how I feel. You don't care nor do you want to hear it again.
And I won't nag.
I guess we aren't even together anymore anyway. Not that we ever really were but somehow I've been expected to be faithful to you for all this time, and I have been. For god knows what reason, yet still.. I have been.
I'm really sick of being lonely, though. There's no reason for it. Well there's one reason, but that's you- and you don't make yourself much of a reason to be worth it do you? Okay maybe when it comes to sex you're a black belt ninja and I'm still trying to untangle the knots from a white belt I haven't earned yet. Whatever. That's ONE thing. One attribute, one skill in life and not even a very important one. Okay maybe slightly important but moreso to you than it ever would be to me.
I'd rather have a connection with someone physiy inept than.. Whatever the fuck it is that we have..
I won't be gorgeous forever. I won't be young forever. I won't be a terrible kisser forever..probably not, anyway. But even if I am so what? I have a brain, I have loyalty and I have an awesome personality. And mind blowing skills in the kitchen.
I deserve a real relationship with someone, a bond- a connection that is strong and mutual.. If letting you fuck whoever you want on the side isn't enough for you to feel that with me then it's time for me to move on.
I've been saying that for a while now.. I guess I still get the sense that you still expect me to belong to you.
So this is me putting in my request to the Director of Metaphysical Feelings and Unspoken Agreements to terminate all expectancies and entitlements remaining in our file. I'm not even sure we still have a file.. But if we do it's hereby nullified.
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looking for a girl who wants to be pleased can a woman who has had a 'not-so-great/non-existant' relationship with her mother still create a lesbian relationship with another woman? i'm afraid i'll either pick someone like 'Mother' or maybe even end up acting like her. therapist seem to suggest that i need to take my place in the family hierarchy whether or not the woman at the top is accountable for her behavior, past/present. i feel like keeping my distance from unaccountable people even if they're relatives, and especially if they feel entitled to the top spot in the hierarchy without assuming leadership and accountability on the matter of emotional and psychological. it's not exactly like i feel safe knowing my needs in such a relationship are not likely to be met why even put myself in a position to have to "ask mommy" to meet my needs in relationship (as appears to be the "therapeutic" route: "relationships with our mothers are so -") when this real person has given no indication of interest in creating an open, direct and honest relationship? when what she appears to want is respect for her position of authority alone and that it is i who am accountable to her? i'd rather spend my time and energy creating relationships with people who are intentionally interested in such things but it's tough to make a decision to set that boundary with her so far out like she is just another person I know, and one I don't happen to want a close relationship with anybody been there? i appreciate your feedback if you have any Fort Lyon Colorado women online
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