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that he plans to be out of there, at least by the time the are 18 but don't be too astounded if a girlfriend puts pressure on him and he walks out sooner. I'd certainly not let him touch me sexually without condoms at this point. In a way it is good because you can get your most favorable ducks in a row for a new life, and in fact, from now on you should be planning on that contingency in case he walks out sooner. If he stays until they are grown and perhaps the marriage survives, good. In my first marriage of 8 years, we kept falling in and out of with each other (he died). If he leaves, you and the survive and thrive. Read this forum about "getting ducks in a row" or other pre-divorce info and follow through ASAP. Having worked for divorce attorneys in the past, I can say that you need to be saving up money for the retainer (in CA, at least $ ). You need to start getting his personal information (social sec number, pay stubs or two, business/trade license info, anything on his accounts, phones) and start putting some tangible assets away in storage or with family ("Oh, I don't know where the xxx is, I thought you had it"). Start socking away any monies you can get away with. This is to make sure you and your are not left high and dry. If you read this forum, you know how men feel about having to pay any support to take care of their. You've seen the term "kid owner" tossed around, and although that fits some, mostly its thrown at women who are having trouble with deadbeats. You need to get your education now if needed, have day care lined up, all the things most favorable to yourself and your. He doesn't care about your feelings nor really your -' feelings, so although this means,avoid arguing because now it's time for you to be cold, rational and polite at all times in your dealings with him, as with any serious adversary. Also, start to develop a good social life outside of the marriage, not with sex but developing a network of support. Some men feel that they are screwed with custody, but often, they seem to act like they don't have any once the marriage is over, so without saying anything about your marriage, maybe get your dad and brothers involved in their lives a little more. In the run, the only revenge is living well. Good luck. desperate but gay to be loved
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