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Reads a little like you're putting the guy on a pedestal. Redo the list with less reasons why he's so great, and more reasons why you're good together. Less of "He's skilled at planning" and more "we're well matched physiy." Less "He's dedicated to his family and his pets" and more "we're great partners." don't get me wrong, it's a nice list. But the list I'm looking for is the one you can print out and look at for when your feelings of insecurity and inadequacy start chewing you up. It can't just be why he's so great for you. It also has to be why you're great for him and why you're great together. For an added punch, you should also include concrete stuff about how well you work through conflicts and resolve issues. looking for a discrete relationshipThey mutually agreed to leave her studio and get a new bigger place, and mutually agreed about the price. Then the fellow would not participate in searching for or okaying apartments until they were down to the wire with just two weeks remaining. If he had been joining in the apt search in the first place, he would not have backed himself into a corner, with no time left to seek another choice. What was the OP supposed to do screw over her subletter, who was expecting to move in 1st? Put all their stuff in storage and camp out on her mom's couch? Rent a hotel room in NYC at $ -plus a night? Seriously. Then, once having agreed to sign the lease, however reluctantly, he refused to do any packing (even of his own stuff) or help with the move. Should OP have packed her own stuff and moved and left his there, in order to somehow protect his ego? The adult thing to do is to move, state that he dislikes the place and wants to move again ASAP, and then make the best of it for that maximum of one year. Not to get all childish and passive and take it out on the food in the fridge. And now that she's actually arranged to break the lease, is he any happier? No, he's behaving WORSE, leaving the door unlocked and endangering the dog. If dude wants to be treated as an equal, never mind as a superior, he needs to stop acting like a year-old. A very wise friend of mine, with one of the longest and happiest marriages I have seen, said they have a rule in their house, which I wish I and my ex had instituted when we married. The rule is: you can reason and kick and scream and fight all you want beforehand, but once the decision has been reached, it's OUR decision, not just yours or mine. That is a good way to think. find swingers
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