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For what it's worth, when I was newly sober at age 23 back in , there were so women, and straight, that I was attracted to in Alcoholics. I felt so ugly inside and out and was so immensely touched by these women who cared more for my life and sanity than my approval. Just a hug or a touch on the arm and I was, so I thought, "in -" not really even knowing what was. One day I shared with my sponsor, "-, I met HER, I met the woman I want to share my life with!" and started going on and on about this woman. "-," my sponsor replied, "we've had this conversation before." Puzzled for a moment than realizing my sponsor's poor recollection I replied, "No, THAT was, THIS is -!" proud informing her of her confusion. "-, it's just a different name" she responded and continued, "whenever you're attracted to someone just be her friend and BECOME the woman YOU want to share your life with." For 24 years, my journey of becoming the woman I want to share my life with continues. Throughout this journey, I have met so amazing and beautiful people, men and women, and straight. So of them have left their footprints on my heart and in doing so, have changed me forever. So of them taught me courage, not so much by what they said but rather, by the power of their example. For me, uncovering, discovering and discarding those old ideas allows room for new ones. I no longer feel so ugly on the inside that I don't care what I look like on the outside. I have learned that is a verb and that if I want something, give it first. It is and has been an amazing journey. I wouldn't be where I am now if it weren't for being allowed to ask questions. Those who mind don't matter; those who matter don't mind. Thank you for your posts; thank you for exemplifying courage; thank you for your perserverance here on despite the "how dare you ask such questions" scolding replies. Continue to go where the is and go where the strength is and if you're inclined, become the woman you want to share your life with for in becoming her, you attract her~ casual encounter great bend pennsylvaniaSo, I have spent a time thinking about and getting into the idea of more kinky, power-exchanging forms of sex, but outside of my imagination I have had very little experience beyond some simple spanking and I really really want to change that. I have tried ads here, but no one in my area seems interested or available, or maybe my inexperience shows. I've thought about going the old-fashioned route asking girls out, and then once we're comfortable seeing if she's interested but that just seems like an invitation to get a whole lot of smack talked about you around town by people who don't or won't understand (it's a small town), and it seems really amoral to make someone think they're about to get a relationship when I'm planning to ditch the second they say they don't want to be tied up. Outside of these two options, I'm not sure how to proceed. To my knowledge my city doesn't have any kind of clubs or scenes publicly dedicated to the pursuit, and I am under the impression that most alt-sex dating sites are total scams. So my question is: where/how do I find the people who like the things I like? Are there like secret signs that people paint on their doors that say they're interested? Is there a secret handshake? Do I just swallow my pride, sacrifice my reputation as "not a creep that your drunk boyfriends should harass" with the s**theads, and start asking every girl about it on the first date? The apparent inability to progress here is starting to damage my sanity. At this point, just about any sense of direction would help. For reference, I'm a male, mid 20's. I imagine that matters somehow. widow women seeking men
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