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so, now that i am single (gasp!), i have been doing a lot of thinking about what i want out of future relationships. i have decided that kink always be a part of who i am, and that i want it to be something valued by future partners. however, i do not want it to be the main focus of the relationship or the reason we got together in the first place, if that makes sense. i appreciate that some of you would make it a higher priority than myself but what i am interested to know is: how did you meet your kinky partner? i am more interested in people who knew they were kinky and started a new relationship, not those who "learned along with their partner" types. i am not looking for dating advice at this time, i plan on staying single for a while yet but i have never had to "date" with this issue before. how did you bring it up? did you meet in a "vanilla" setting and it was just a coincidence? i am totally rambling here, and not expressing exactly what i have been thinking about i guess i worry about disclosing too much about my kinky leanings in the fear that be the reason someone wants to date me, ya know? any advice or musings welcome. free Berne women sex sexDo you communicate with your wife? I mean listen to her issues and problems, and give the the to listen to your issues in a constructive, mature manner, then work together to resolve? It sounds to be like the level of sex you want is becoming the tipping point for the other issues you are having in the marriage. Sounds like you work a typical 9-5 job, whereas she is working, late hours during the week. Hitting her up for sex when she gets home, tired, exhausted is not the way to set up a good night and a lasting relationship. Add some romance to things, help her to unwind from the day without getting pushed on for help with the housework, sex, etc. Let her have time to de-compress first. Imagine if roles were reversed, you wouldn't like to get hit as as you get in the door about taking out the trash, doing dishes, handling a screaming, etc. A marriage is a partnership, and if you feel one partner is taking advantage, then you need to speak up in a constructive manner. But also, you need to allow the other time to re-join the fight. My suggestion is to alter your tactics, and don't ask for or expect sex for a couple weeks. Give her time to relax when she gets home. Run a bath, set up some soothing music, etc when she arrives home. You'll likely find her more likely to help out and willing to be more in the bedroom if you can have some. Good luck and don't throw in the towel yet. casual affairs
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