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assets and deal with SS: One detail you have not covered are ALL THE OTHER ASSETS AND/OR DEBTS of the marriage: Are there other debts? Are they large? Assets like timeshares, cars, boats? What about all the household goods, computers, 'toys'? Those can add up to a very, even as used goods- and THAT can mess with your potential negotiation room big-time if they are not divided somewhat evenly between you. I can think of some options for you to offer 'in lieu' of monthly support 'for the generally granted period', if your goal is to get out from under this relationship and all financial entanglements asap: Let's say the SS post-tax value to her is $ /month for 5 years- that is a lump sum offer you can make of $ K vs paying her monthly. One caveat, figure the tax liability for Fed and State carefully on this, as it MUST be accurate for her status post-marriage AND you want to consider the impacts of it no longer being a reduction in income for YOUR tax status if you do this. What is your flexibility on paying off the mortgage in lieu of support and dividing liquid assets, and then quitclaim the house to her? Remember, only HALF that debt is hers in settlement, the other half is your obligation regardless. Could you pay off both halves from the savings and k shares vs dividing those assets? You've got $ K available there, plus whatever the SS lump sum value works out to. Does that come close? Here's an example: Mortgage and house value $ K. Her half of mortgage $ K, a wash if paid off vs savings/ K split. YOUR half of mortgage $ K, apply $ K est SS lump sum, balance owed $ K. You have now used up your savings mostly but preserved your K, because there's a nasty tax penalty to infringe on that Can you come up with the final $ K to close the deal? don't forget, you need a very current full appraisal done before you you truly run the number on this AND to file it in court. ladies to date Ilminstertime now about leaving my spouse. I have been so torn that the stress is unbelievable. Well, REVAMPED helped tremendously yesterday. I finally decided to seek some help, I know it has to end, but sometimes your own words coming from another person, like REVAMPED said, just seem to be different. I talked with a counselor and they gave me some sound advice, to quit pushing it. Just sit back and one day they push all the right buttons at the right time and you leave without a second thought. You won't think about anything you have and since you already have a list, you are just ready but not convinced. I arose this morning, I have been sick for about a week and so sick and tired of it! But anyway my first site for the day was them sitting on their loveseat; surrounded by nothing but garbage; computering away with a plate balanced on their stomach jamming food in. They have no thoughts in their mind, they skate thru life, equals food and eating. Nothing exists. Although they have a list a mile to accomplish and the stuff is piled all around to get it down, they were just sitting there, totally unaware of their surroundings. I think if I wouldn't have been so sick, today might have been the day. Thanks for letting me vent. mob wives
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