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Hello curious and confused. I can only offer my own experience. I am now 37 years old and essentially lived for 32 years as a heterosexual. I wanted so bad to feel "normal" that I went as far as to be engaged twice and be in a hetero relationship for 13 years. I was also entirely miserable, sad, and, on several occasions suicidal. Not only did I make myself entirely unhappy but I also made two very good women unhappy as well. After all those years in the dark I am now "out" and at peace with myself. You must figure out who you are and what you want out of life. I can appreciate the challenges you face as you seem to take your seriously, or at the very least it is the only thing you know. Being is not only about "sex", it is also about knowing yourself and being able to find what makes you happy. In the end, it is your life and no one elses to live. I do believe one can be a good person (in the truest and most basic way) and not follow a particular religious dogma. After all, we hear plenty of those who are outwardly pious only to reveal a truly bad and reprehensible side. Ultimately find someone you trust and confide in them. You are not alone in all this and by no means are you bad, doomed, or damned. In the end, regardless of religion, politics, sexuality, color, or belief, we are all brothers on this planet. Good luck to you. horney married in Kodanko
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