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with perspectives from both D/tops and s/bottoms. I'll talk from my perspective, this isn't me representing anyone but myself even tho I'm gonna talk in generals. >"In your dynamic, what constitutes being a "good girl"? " He's given me a mantra from one of our first scenes over the phone several years ago "good girls get to cum, bad girls get nothing". This question brought that right to mind. Automagical :). In our dynamic, "good girl" means I'm being genuine and taking in my submission. It means I'm being forthright and communicative instead of internalizing and shutting down. It means I'm backing up my words here and on fet and wherever I chose to participate in kink discussion with sincerity and action in our personal dynamic. "Good girl" is usually delivered to me spontaneously, when I'm least working for it and instead being more organic. "Good girl" means I'm being true to myself, my desires and what he's learned about me. A "bad girl"? ( not to be confused with naughty) A bad girl is willfully wantonly manipulative. She say she is yours to control and then sabotage interactions by trying to control things herself. She does not have the best interests of herself or the dynamic at heart and she's willing to sacrifice in submission for temporary control of the moment. I'm not talking about being a doormat but I am talking about acting like I take greater pleasure out of being cunning and deceitful over being real and honest. A bad girl capitalizes on hesitation from her top or Dom. She's a calculating little manipulator. At least that's what is going through my mind when I know I'm being "bad". It has a feeling it's not a *cackle cackle I'm going to get him good *menacing glare* sort of feeling I don't feel the need to undermine him but I do get this feeling quite quickly that what I'm doing brings me no and no release no freedom from stress. In fact, it burdens me ly and I start to feel all heavy like I'm hiding behind a lie and just want out of it. There's not a shred of charm, felicity, cheer or amusement in it. For either of us. -cont- real man with a real female bbw for fwb
Hello breaker :) I don't really have a jumping off story to share at the moment. For me my battle starts as a cycle of negative/positive thinking. It's easy for me to think negatively about my own situation, and it puts me on a downward spiral. There comes a time when I feel so tired of feeling low. I remind myself of the things that make me happy, I make the time to do those things, and I usually feel better about myself as a result. It certainly doesn't mean the situation has changed, just my outlook. When that fails I look for changes I can make to better myself and my happiness in other ways. That can be anything. Home, work, relationships with friends You name it. At the end of the day I just want to feel happy with myself. I guess I'm all about fresh starts. Sounds like you make the right decisions for you (even if the right decisions aren't exactly clear at the time) occasionally you just gotta take that leap. Life would be dull if it didn't include some risk. :) Hopefully it won't be so lonely once the dust settles and you can check out your new surroundings. Good luck to you enjoy your clean slate and fresh start. I like your approach. looking for a cruise mateIDK why either, at first I thought it was because of alot of other things when I was younger. Now it's 20 years later and I'm still super attracted to black women. It's just something you notice after a while, who makes your head turn more often for some types of appearance. Like I don't care so much about stud/femme either way. But oh, the first time I got a look at a all black fashion mag! OMG. So ya. plus size dating
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