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I'm gonna be kind of blunt about this. your mother betrayed the parent/- bond on about fifteen different levels when you were younger and staying away from her was a good idea. however that doesn't stop any human with a heart from wishing that their mother was a good and loving person and gee, why am I not surprised that she flipped out, denied any responsibility, and asked you for complicity and silence instead of forgiveness? I suspect that you have resorted to porn because, rather than being an exemplary, ethical or loving mother, and offering at least to enter therapy on her own (if she was the least bit serious, family counseling would be on the table) she continued the tradition of putting her needs ahead of yours and maybe, having lacked some basic building blocks of relationships (honesty, trust, compassion) growing up, you're having a hard time putting these things together in your outside life? no, your relationship is not good and. and my heart's a little broken for you, as it is for all the survivors of. you might add 'Another to Get it Right' by Vachss, and 'For Your Own Good' by Miller to your reading list but honestly? I think one of the best authors out there on the subject of lost childhoods, and the way we as adults have to be both parent and to our present selves? is a guy named DeLint. Writes really stuff about really, really hard subjects. I think some of his characters strike a chord with you, and maybe help. best mature in BicirmanI've changed my mind. Do you have any family that you can stay with? This kind of behavior is completely unacceptable. You need to start making an exit plan if he's throwing groceries across the driveway, it's past time to dump his ass. It's only a short twitch of the wrist before he starts in on you. You need to have an exit plan. Here's a list of things and documents you need to gather: If you can, start to gather these things now, and store them with a trusted friend or family member. Be careful to erase computer evidence of your search for help (., domestic websites, etc.) Read this: None of this is your fault, and he's probably not going to change. His anger is out of control, and you are just steps from behind his next punching bag. This is not a marriage, so don't think that you're "breaking up" your marriage. horny granny
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