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Recognizing and admitting that you are codependent is a good thing. You know this guy is a liar and has your trust. He continues to lie to you, even if they're little lies they're still lies. Since he's not changing his behavior and you can't (NOR SHOULD YOU) get past his infidelities, this relationship is never going to progress healthily. Your friend even sees trouble. I think that your instincts that tell you that he's a risk to your future and untrustworthy are spot on. I think your idea to approach it as an addiction is a good idea. I think cutting him out of your life all at once is a good idea. I would have your friend be your "sponsor". When you feel like ing him, her instead and get support from her. Do you and your SO live together? If so, pack quickly and get out quickly, don't let it drag on and don't let him try to draw you back in with honeyed words. Distance yourself as much as you can before and after the breakup. Make sure you have a good support network of friends (or just a couple close friends) to take up your time. If you're feeling super lonely and you think you can handle the responsibility, get a low maintenance pet like a rat, fish, or maybe a cat. I think getting out of this relationship, from what you've said, is going to be a really good move on your part. Just remember, with friends and take up a hobby and maybe a pet. Kill Devil Hills girl fucking for Kill Devil Hills
First of all, your stats are off. According to wikipedia, condoms have a 2% rate of failure when used perfectly, and a 15% rate of failure when used incorrectly (as with people who skip them on supposedly less-fertile days of the cycle, put them on mid-act, reuse them, wear one that's too loose and falls off, etc). If two people are careful with their condom use, they have 1 in 50 of a pregnancy resulting during a year of regular sex. That makes a pregnancy a rather unlikely and unexpected event. They're entitled to say so. Dude, not everyone is as positive they don't want as you are, and ready to sterilize themselves. Even my recent ex, who never wanted, has not had his tubes tied. (It's true that his longtime friend had a hysterectomy, so he didn't have to worry for thirteen years, but he hasn't even had the vas in the years since then.) People who are having sex, but using contraceptives carefully (not just pulling out or using some vague version of the rhythm method or praying they don't conceive) are entitled to say it's unexpected when the method fails. So can it with your profoundly unsympathetic nonsense. PS Even vasectomy has a failure rate. mature woman for sex HermistonIf the posts that he was thinking of looking elsewhere because his wife seems totally uninterested in sex during menopause, we would have told him to consider the health factors etc, and read him the riot act for thinking it was license to run around. If the posts saying he's having trouble keeping an erection, I'd say exactly the same as to her: are his hands and mouth broken? Has he looked into Viagra? Or is he too lazy to keep her happy now and then? We don't know how OP's been cold. My offhand guess is, it takes a time, not a two-week dry spell, to get exasperated enough to say something that sharp. I could be wrong. But this is a serious wake-up. OP's lucky he's saying it to her face and giving her a to fix it, instead of cheating first and asking questions later. We can only advise the person who posts, because that is the only person he/she has control over. OP can't assume that menopause is a license to it up and marriage is going to keep the other person trapped forever. If you want your mate to remain contented and also monogamous, there's nothing misogynistic about saying you have some obligation to keep said spouse happy, even when you're having trouble getting moist or keeping it up. (And just for the record, both unselfemployed and I are female and past 50.) single ladies
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