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I don't understand much of your post, but I want to try to help. You say you're looking for an LTR and you've been finding men to date who "seem to resonate with your new found energy." Yet: "I cannot find men around my age with who want a term relationship." And men w/out make you suspicious: "I need some assurances on why would these men were never married in the first place or had families" You think there's something 'wrong' w/ the men who've never been married and/ or had -; there's something wrong w/ the men who've been there/ done that, but don't want those things/ an LTR with you. In this logical loop, there's something wrong everyone even you!: "I cannot think like a. My thinking is little clouded because I am a woman." Frankly, I don't know any woman who'd ever say such a thing (esp. not one in her 40s but I'll remit my back-burner inklings, re: your gender ). Your 'perceptions' are deceiving you. Forget the self-betraying mess about maturity/ immaturity/ age; forget about (existent or not); forget marriage. These ideals/ 'plans' are disallowing you from getting in on the ground floor w/ these men. You come in w/ too preconceptions, jumping too far ahead in your mind. In this way, you cut these men (and yourself) off at the knees, and ultimately fall back on your old 'flight'-oriented habits (though they're manifesting in a new configuration, they're still there). Get to know the men you date think of them as new friends. Spend time, talk to them about their/ your interests, feel them out, and get a sense of their attitude. Learn about them on their own terms. don't try to define them based on airy nothings. And avoid discussing term goals, past relationships/ residual fears in the early mtgs. (It could be that the once-married/ men who have sniff you out as a desperate ring-seeker.) Keep interactions in the present. Horseheads single lonely women dating
I have been meeting the most awful guys why I am attracting all these types? The last guy, I found out had a year old. Fine, from what I knew of him, I thought he was being a good father, I wasn't going to rule him out for that. He wanted to "- out"..for a date. I thought it was odd that we wouldn't go to dinner, so I offered to take us, my treat. He said that would be fine. Two days later he says since we're going out to dinner for him (my treat) he'd rather go somewhere he wants to go, instead of where I chose. I said it was okay but I guess that was my first clue this wasn't going to go well. Then, his cell kept ringing through dinner he admits that it was a collection agency ing about an $80 he didn't pay . In addition I found out he loves the jersey shore show, only likes rap music, listens to said music wayyyy too loud, has road rage like I've never seen before, s all minorities by whatever derogatory grouping term he feels, explained to me that he viciously hated both his mom and dad, that he hates the mother of his and she hates him back, and he also at first didn't want to pick me up to go to dinner because he didn't want to lose his parking space. I told him I just didn't feel we had anything in common. He said I couldn't not like him just because of the music he liked. He tried to guilt me by saying he didn't get custody of his and now he doesn't get to have a girlfriend either. And that he guessed he was going to be alone all his life. I stood my ground, but he didn't like my "no" for an answer. As a result he sent about text messages and ed 50 times. At one point he texted that he was getting pulled over for texting while driving .good, because he shouldn't be doing that. I already responded that I was finished answering. Right now his messages / texts are blocked. This is the right response for this situation yes? What the hell is wrong with people? I tried to give a guy a and when I say no he flips out. hotel sex with Campbell womenmake your own decisions. Let me tell you something that holds very true for me closure and the way it's been defined is fucking overrated. It's become some screwed up search to dig into the past and try to figure out everything that went wrong and attach some reason to your current issues are tied to it. The real truth is you don't need to know. You can stop bad behavior if you want to, you can break a pattern if you don't want to participate in it anymore. While it be normal to wonder what truly happened to your parents marriage, it isn't any of your business. In fact you are better off NOT knowing the details. Your parents are leaving your decisions to you, you should respect that. Currently they are refusing to let you in on the intimate details of their break up because they know that while the relationship between THEM has failed it has no bearing on how they feel about you. It's an adjustment that is difficult for even adults to make, the relationship with parents following divorce is now independent of the other. It is time for you to have a relationship with EACH parent. I salute your parents for giving the other the opportunity for you to do that. parents don't and cast the net of blame at the other leaving you in the middle of their bitterness. Your parents aren't perfect, they're human and as humans, just as messed up as anyone. However, you should be proud of how they are handling this. In regards to this situation they are on solid ground. It shows character to actually NOT comply to your wishes to know. Respect it. My hat is off to them. As far as YOUR life, like beezerd said, it is up to you to set your OWN moral compass. dating advice
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