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My grandmother was the same way widowed at 35, and lived until she was 92. She was a vibrant, interesting woman, and when I once asked her why she never remarried, she said, "There was never anyone as good as he was!" However, I think what happened was that she grew up in a time (20s, 30's 40's) when women had far fewer economic opportunities and roles to play. She, however, found a niche and made a tremendous success of it and I don't think she was interested in subjugating herself to another once she had that taste of freedom. It was far easier to be a grieving romantic than it was to explain that she just didn't want to deal with a meddling in her business! Let's face it not all marriges were perfect, and divorce was very uncommon back then. There were a lot of people who, once they were no longer married, had NO to jump back into the frying pan of marriage. Maybe your grandmother had a low sex drive. Maybe your grandmother didn't feel like dealing with another in her life, having to make compromises, etc. You can your own problem "loyalty", if you want to. Personally, I it "fear." But hey, if you don't WANT a relationship, there's nothing wrong with that. But if you do you need to figure out how to re-enter the dating world. You might want to consider a few sessions with a counselor, to understand better what is stopping you from having a and rewarding relationship with another you still have some unresolved issues from your past relationship. swinger clubs Norah Head
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