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looking to text chat etc I am a questioning female who feels the need to justify why she does not like interacting in any way with a penis. I have had negative experiences with men and have also suffered sexual trauma (rape). My avoidance of coitus with a has caused much complaint from my male partners and is the downfall of all my relationships with them. The message I have gotten by the men in my life is that the reason why I avoid sex is because I was raped or that there is something wrong with me. There is no connection during sex and I’m much checked out the whole time. Yet I’m not freaking out or panicked, anxious. In my twenties I used to cry afterwards and it was physiy painful during, but now I’m just sort of numb. I would still cry now during sex if it is with someone new; after that I just go to numb. I not only physiy reject penis but also have negative emotional and intellectual reactions to sex with men. I have always had very strong feelings about the way men treat women. I was very sensitive as a and was angered by the misogynistic view men had of women. I was also angered by the way men described women sexually and did not want to be one of those women they were talking about (about how much they, etc). I have never dressed up for men or presented myself sexually to them. I realized a while ago that what I really want from men is a platonic and affectionate relationship but that I do not want a sexual relationship with them. I am not asexual, I do want sexual and emotional intimacy with someone. When I'm attracted to a women I feel so good; it is a real high. If I could be me and have no barriers whatsoever, I would meet this really cool chick who was beautiful (to me, I’m not attracted to straight girls), smart, funny and goofy. We would have amazing sex and be madly in. So here is my central question: am I truly disinterested in sex with men or am I just looking for an excuse not to sleep with men? Am I really interested in women or am I just looking for an excuse not to sleep with men? I mean, to a large extent it just doesn't fucking matter because I do not want to sleep with men! Get it, world?! I mean, fuck you if you don't like it, Planet Earth, but I don't like -! the Davenport Oklahoma sucks i wanna have some fun
ca65 married local in Rushmeremistake #1: "No, haven't filed yet " you need to file IMMEDIATELY, if for no other reason than to separate your finances. you said "she likes to spend." every minute that you wait to file is an opportunity for her to run up cc bills through the roof with fun stuff like trips for her the new, and guess what? YOU WIND UP PAYING HALF OF IT (marital debt). mistake #2: "I don't believe that she wants to screw me." really??? why the fuck would you be stupid enough to think that? she's already ruined your family left you for another, what's it gonna take? does she have to burn the house down? give you a disease? come on, this is bad it's only gonna get worse. things that benefit you: she left you the (abandonment? check your state laws) is "moving on" with her new lay, plus she makes more $$$ than you do. perfect. FILE FOR DIVORCE IMMEDIATELY request full custody support. you might not get it, but you can ask. if she's partying like you say being financially irresponsible as well, the kid is better off with you. she can have parenting time with her mom when mom's not busy drinking or getting laid. the truth: "I think about stuff like that and I realize: she never loved me. She didn't care if I died." < this is what you should be sure to remember EVERY DAY. the idea that she's coming back some day or that you "wasted" 20 years is bullshit. you have today all of the tomorrows ahead of you, your kid need a stable home at least one good parent, and that's you. GFY (good for you) for quitting drinking stepping up for your kid. you are gonna be able to make a great life for yourself your daughter. forget your tramp of a stbx start making things legal. "- is not a strategy." time to get real. good luck, stay strong. adult swinger
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