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In practice, it doesn't ever seem to work. I repeat a lot of positive affirmations to myself in my head, only to have the angry, ugly inner voice snark at the affirmations and remind me of how stupid and trite they all are. I'm quite crazy, unfortunately, but intelligent enough to reason/do combat with any kindness I might throw my own way. It would be sort of funny if it didn't keep me so fucking down. You know, sometimes I think "I'll feel sexy if I dress up as he likes and entice him, and spark his interest." But I feel foolish most of the time when I do these days, and I also feel like I'm breaking my promise to myself to NOT be the sexual initiator. It really bothers me when I do that, but honestly the last time he initiated without any hinting from me was A) over a month ago and B) when I was sleeping. Which seems to be the case so frequently! He never demands or requests sex when we're both awake just when he wakes in the middle of the night with an erection. Then I get the feeling he doesn't want me when we're both conscious. :/ But if I made good on my word and never initiated, I'd never get laid. And I'm so incredibly sexual at the core, that I would be even more miserable then than now. I'm so rambly. :/ I just feel a lot of mixed-up bad things right now and I wish I could really make it stop, instead of putting my fingers in my ears and shouting "LALALA," y'know? Canton sexy Canton girland you can't change how people percieve or read things on the internet. People on here read whirly's post with a certain amount of negativity, regardless of what she says they read it as nasty. And people are hypocrites as well, take for instance FlirtFairie who goes on and on about how nasty Whirly is yet turn around and her a dipshit in the same thread. How is that not nasty? She sees what she wants in the words posted by others, and to some extent you probably to as well. Voice inflection is a very hard thing to translate over text. Just don't take everything so personal, there is a lot of great advice doled out here and there is also a lot of trolls who like to just ruffle feathers. Then there is also those like flirtfairie who think they know everything, when really they know nothing. You gotta take the good with the bad. adult video chat
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