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It's not simply hormones it's conditioning. You'd think lesbians would know better. But it isn't anything different than what heterosexual women become and do when they're with men. Women are conditioned to be in "relationships". Even when they're bad ones, they on. That instinct for nurturing that so of us have becomes a noose around our necks. So heterosexual women tolerate from men because they believe they can't do better and they're afraid of being alone without one. Society bombards females with the message that they're supposed to want to be in, that they're supposed to want to find a relationship (dating-engagement-marriage-motherhood) to be in. It be , but the messages are still the same: you aren't a complete woman if you're independent. Now throw in the lesbian, and you've got the same females who've bought into the same pressures and lies, except that they're looking for fulfillment with the "perfect" lesbian relationship. As if being with a lesbian is going to erase all the bad programming. But when both parties are cut from almost the same cloth, what you often get is a dynamic that can easily turn into a nightmare of unrealistic expectations. Agh! It's enough to give me a headache. All I know is that it doesn't take a psychiatrist to realize that the lesbian community is populated by a lot of emotionally damaged women. And because it is such a concentrated community, the dynamics created by and from that damage are exacerbated. free bbw dating St. PetersburgHowever I would like for it to be open to the extent that we can talk to other people and enjoy them, find them attractive, have conversations and flirt. AND remain completely true and loyal to each other. And be able to trust that to our bones. This concept is very strange to him. He is sort of black or white. He can only relate right now to having these feelings for someone and that meaning that something must be wrong between us and finding fault with me out of a conditioned guilty conscience. Loving like this is a I know it requires of both of us confidence, in our selves and each other. We have to be able to trust each other completely and feel good enough about ourselves to feel worthy of this kind for relationship. I believe in monogomay, and I believe that monogamy can also incorporate relating with other people and enjoying attraction. It just takes being very solid and commited and knowing what we are commited to and why. We both need to know of ourselves and from each other the value of our relationship as well as the value of staying committed to it and the goals that we are sharing. Personally I feel that as we grow in relationship that the paradigm of our turn-on should also. For example. for me, while I still find my boyfriend very attractive, the turn on facotr is no longer about the unknown, it is about the known, and about the beauty of what we are doing together and the sacredness of true intimacy. However this is also the bubble I find myself living in, sadly, alone. At least for now. I do feel that our paradigms are different in how we approach and relate to relationship, initmacy and marriage. I have a lot of lofty views on all this, and well, I have recently had to succumb to the relaization that right now, he is not floating on the same lofty cloud as me. Who knows. Sure just feels good getting this out. Thanks for listening dating chinese women
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