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The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, an Anchorage answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troopers. "We're sorry Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife," said one trooper. "Tell me! Did you find her?" Wilkens shouted. The troopers looked at each other. One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?" Fearing the worst, an ashen Mr. Wilkens said, "Give me the bad news first." The trooper said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in Kachemak Bay." "Oh my God!" exclaimed Wilkens. Swallowing hard, he asked, "What's the good news?" The trooper continued. "When we pulled her up she had 12 twenty pound crabs and 6 good-size Dungeness crabs on her." Stunned, Mr. Wilkens demanded, "If that's the good news, what's the great news?" The trooper said, "We're going to pull her up again tomorrow!" cream pie pussy San antonioI'll tell ya about my first wife. We were she 18, me 21 and my best friend was her fiancee he had been off to Northwestern doing pre-med in 3 years with honors and my girlfriend made up our HIGH SCHOOL FOURSOME DAYS (no sex if that's what you're thinking this is Deep South in the 50s). Well, I was feelin' melancholy with the old gang breakin' up, and took his fiancee down to the beach about one week before he was to get home, and two weeks before they were to get married. Invitations out. Apartment already rented for their return to school in the fall. His career would be medicine, hers would be education. Well, one thing lead to the next till I found ma self in bed with her (beach cottage) and it's dark outside = total loss of time = her parents fit to be tied. We had not fucked, but from out of the blue I said, "I you," Well, I figured the whole thing would blow over, no one would ever find out, and she would get married in two weeks. Got a phone from her, "What are we gonna do?" I brushed off the answer and told her I was gonna retreat back to the beach cottage for a few days. I did. Sat on the beach and drank a case of cheap beer every day, for almost a week then one sunset I suddenly stood up and threw the bottle way out into the water, tossed the case of empties in the back of ma car, and zipped back into town (50 away). I sat in the car on top of a hill overlooking her house at 10pm ma best friend brought her home didn't stay as as he left I quietly drifted down the hill and into her driveway. We sat on the sofa while her mother ranted and raved up and down the living room then made a fatal mistake = she went to bed. In ma best I said, "I came in to get you tonight, or go back to the cottage for the?" Her answer was, "Come back at 2am. I'll be packed and waiting on the balcony." I went back at 3am and there she was with birth certificate, a footlocker, and suitcase. We did a balcony departure, and I had to leave that case of empty beer bottles in the driveway. Her mom had the cops in 7 states lookin' for us!!! Whata hoot. That marriage lasted 25 years and netted 6. online singles dating
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