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/ Today Penguin made his first campaign stop in front of thousands of supporters. Entering the Gymnasium to his campaign, "Milkshake" by Kelis, the crowd waved signs and yelled in support. Penguins remarks were limited, but he wandered around and was patted by supporters for over an hour. "I would totally vote for Penguin!" said Zamecki, who had previously been leaning towards. At his speech, Penguin, though saying nothing but "scraaaawk" for over a half an hour, underlined the distinctions between himself and incumbent President, W Bush. Penguin is a homosexual penguin. He is incapable of speaking, of signing laws and bills, and perhaps even incapable of abstract thought. However, in retrospect, the past years of American Leadership have been so poor that Penguin would have easily been the best choice for. Penguins are coming out. Just recently, two penguins at the Central Park in Manhattan have celebrated six years of monogamy, and keepers have given them an egg to raise, which hatched succesfully. While Fundamentalists rally around Constitutional Amendments against Marriage, Penguins are proving that God has no problems with Marriage or Adoption. But what about Penguin as a Presidential Nominee? Why would he do a better job than W Bush? Penguin could not have signed the PATRIOT ACT, could not have appointed Ashcroft, could not have invaded a foreign nation, alienated our allies, or embarked on a dangerous and divisive cultural. Trollhattan getting fucked in nv
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