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The very first thing I want to tell you is try to stop judging yourself harshly. It's ok to be who you are right now of course you're confused and eventually you won't be. Take one day at a time (I know that sound simple and like some sort of stupid advice you hear all the time but really you have a lifetime ahead of you so being slow and easy might help) don't allow yourself to wreck going to school and any other plans you have for your future and just take little steps like getting yourself in a place where you have independence from your family. Make a plan so you are autonomous. Make sure you have emotional support! Find either a counselor (not a minister..or a member of your church because that NOT help) or find some kind of support group that is local. I can not stress this enough! Please don't try to go this alone. I wish you well one show me what you got tonight
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