Rambling A over a year ago, I passed up the chance of having the one person I always wanted, because I wanted my freedom. I wanted just myself again, afer years of trying to love someone else, who was determined to erase my existence I guess we could say. I said mean, heartless things that I regret.I was drowning in mid air trying to the reality of everything happening around me, that I hurt the one person I never wanted to hurt. I think back to those conversations a lot of times I just want to cry, how could I let someone break me down so badly, that all I could say to the one person I actually loved was harsh, shattering words? How in the world did I let things get so out of control, that I couldnt even control myself? Then the hundreds of memories of the love I so wanted flashes through, its just.. a hurricane of mixed emotions.. Then I block everything out, its too overwhelming for me to deal with. Tears are not something I wish to shed. I couldnt apologize even though I want to, nothing I could say or do, could erase what I said and did. Time doesnt rewind, there are no do overs. All that because at the time, I wanted myself and my freedom. Well I got my freedom and myself. Turns out I've too much freedom these days. Most nights I lay awake with a thousand memories, words, or just random thoughts rambling through my mind, to fall asleep and dream of the love I once upon a time knew. I guess the upside is I dont dream every night, well not that i always re, but these days its that I sleep. Its crazy to me, that I gave up the chance because I wasnt exactly sure if what I believed I wanted was what I wanted or thoughts of someone else. Makes no sense im sure. But now that I've had this year to myself, the freedom of doing whatever I please, no one hounding me, or trying to change who I am, Ive realized a lot of things. Like that I always changed what I said I wanted in a guy over the years.. example "I don't like little guys I like bigger guys". Only I wasnt cl Array free cybersex in BalalikanWanting to grow with someone I am looking for someone who we can grow together. I enjoy many different things. Camping, , football, baseball, swimming or just hanging out. I am a smaller who likes chubby men. Please be age appropriate 48 to 57. I am at heart and willing to try anything once. Must love to laugh and hold a conversation. I am a social drinker and smoker Please send a if this sounds interesting to you. Put your favorite sport in the subject line. Please be mature enough to be able to tell the truth. Not into. Very straightforward and independent. Animal lover Juneau Alaska female ads meet sex looking for seduction
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I think I'm going to say something that not a lot of guys on this board are going to agree with But, based on my limited dealings with this board and men in general, maybe you and by extension, we are a little jaded. Perhaps we are dealing with a community where it is okay to "whore around", where sex is a "conquest"? Why must a nice guy remain a friend (I assume he's nice)? Why can't a "conquest" become something more, something more meaningful, or at least something other than a one night stand. Why does it frequently seem, based on personal experience and what is posted here, that sex and any other form of intimacy are mutually exclusive? "I got to get that hot stud", but never talk about meeting someone that one really gets along with. Are we just a culture of? Do we just that illusory Perfect Fuck? I mean, look at the bar scene look at everyone looking at everyone. Just looking. Not talking. LOL, and even I admit that this sounds so touchy-feely, artsy-fartsy, lets-all-hold-hands silly, especially to a New Yorker like myself. But I think that it has a kernal of truth. I think "Sexual Ecology" is a must read. Basiy it advocates taking that I dunno what to it that driving to find the perfect sex partner and try to start building lasting relationships. If one starts wanting something more and taking steps towards that, then that something more happen. It not be Perfect, but it can be good all the same. You just have to want it. AND give up chasing Go Go boys. :-) Okay, you all can excoriate me now horny hot women seeking men
i've spent hours, on afternoons sittin in that unbelievably sexy e55 in the showroom. doesn't mean i'm any closer to driving it out of there. (although i'm familiar with where the key locker is, and how the storefront doors open, and the hours of opperation, and the security detail, and the sentencing laws for GTA in WA but i digress.) i'm trying to help you, not him cuz he's not here asking for help with his "situation." if the guy likes you that much and still doesn't have the balls to end his current relationship where does it leave you? more likely, he just isn't convinced that leaving his 'other' for you is the right thing to do. but and this is big as as you're willing to let him do both, he's not going to change it. if what you have, is not what you want YOU need to change it. you CANNOT force him to you more. you CANNOT force him to want to be with you more. he you 'some,' and he want to be with you 'some,' but obviously as is told by his current pillow dent, he doesn't want it bad enough to JUST be with you. if YOU don't want to share him, tell him you want to be friends and consign yourself to the heartache you've already earned (vs the greater heartache you could go through if you stick around for another 2 years and nothing changes.) ultimatum? makes it easier for him to drop you. just tell him that this isn't what's best for you, and you'd like to be friends, and you're going to open yourself up to other relationships. or keep doing what your doing ? naughty mom CasseltonMy ex did everything to leave me with nothing. 7 years later, he lost the house, is deeply in debt, he is driving a beat up car. My life is going very,very well. Also, he is not aging well. He poisoned the and it was an ugly custody battle. I agreed to joint custody (my asked) but he told all who knew us that I lost custody. Fast forward, I have to push them to visit their father. I really believe in, it just takes awhile to manifest. women seeking man
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