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But I think they're all useful for telling you something different about the person. I'm still trying to figure out exactly how they all work together, which is part of why I was curious to hear other people's ideas. So everything below is just a tentative stab at this. I think D tells you how a person relates to other people, the world, and to themselves. Do they take care in their relations? Is it about them, or are relations reciprocal? Do they prefer immediate gratification or do they prefer the idea of gratification (fantasy)? I think B is important, but instead of WHAT the person is drawn to, I think it is more important THAT a person be passionate. I don't really care if they are passionate about music, or books, or sailboarding, or rabbits. But having a passion, and not just wimpy likes, indicates that a person is ALIVE, that they life itself. I think C tells you what a person admires, and also what they think of themselves, as well as what kind of power relations they conceive of between people. Those are all really, really important. Do they respect themselves? Do they want to fix other people? Do they want someone to control them? E is the least important to me, although I think it can give you insight into the order of importance a person places on competing desires. So a person might think family is important as well as happiness, but if they forgo their own happiness to keep their family satisfied, then it tells you which they value more. A is completely irrelevant, except insofar as it affects the way a person gets treated by other people, and so it shapes them in various ways. But I think the way that shaping happens is totally dependent on all the other choices above, so those are the important ones. virgin wanting to be schooledonce you get your daughter the help she needs. I would also suggest some kind of support group for you. I sounds like the people around you have grown tired of supporting you and not agree with the way you are parenting your special needs. I think punching grandma in the tummy would be a huge red that the steps you are taking with her are not enough. Besides leaving your mom's house what other consequences did your daughter get for hitting grandma? What professionals have you gone to for help after this on your mom? Look being a parent is hard. Being the parent of a special needs is even harder. You need support. The way you parent this might change her. I highly recommend the Nurtured Heart Approach. This program was designed for like your daughter. You can profound changes in her if you stick to this program. They have an online training class for about 70 dollars. They have in person training classes you can check their web site for or you can just get the book from or you local public library. desperate women
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