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My ex was a bum too. I'd work as hours a week as it took, one two jobs whatever, to keep a roof over the head. I'd come home after so days of non-stop work to a filthy home, mountain of dishes, piles of trash, youngest in same pissy diaper they were in when I left and staring at the fucking tv, while daddy lay in bed. So then I'd scrub out the whole house in my free time, try to do megadoses of parenting with the little one, bath her and put her in fresh clothes and speak to her and play with her and brush her hair I divorced mine eventually. I would've supported him through school, all that. It isn't fair. Now he doesn't bother to exercise his custody, and no support. I lucked out though. My brother was divorced too, so now we share a household, take care of each other's, and he is supporting me through school while I take care of childcare and household duties. Actually ideal, he is industrious, kind, a great father, clean, and trustworthy. Not what either of us planned slut wife buffalo ny
Get hold of yourself!! It's time to get past the feeling sorry for yourself. I was married almost 25 years. I understand being ALL ALONE during the divorce process. But I also now am seeing that I am free to discover who I am, without him. Maybe you need to do that. Let go, and appreciate who you are. Maybe he didn't appreciate who you are, but you should. And if you don't, then start being someone that you like to be with, so you can have some peace with yourself. Also, be sure that you're not dealing with depression, because it sounds like you might be. Sometimes medication helps, like it did for me, but sometimes you just need to start making more positive decisions and CHOOSE to move forward. don't act on how you feel, act on how you want to be. If you want to look confident tomorrow when you your almost-ex, then ACT it. AND, you're going for your -'s activity, right? not for your ex. So concentrate on your, and his happiness, and how proud you are of him, channel your energies into only him. It takes work. real work. I know. But don't shortchange your and your attention to him because you're distracted by how you feel about your ex. and okay, he has a girlfriend. He moved on, that doesn't make you less of a person. Stop letting him control you by allowing him to have control of your feelings. You are in control of your life, and every choice you make. don't give that control to him, or his girlfriend. And it's time to find some friends. I actually answered a post for another woman looking for friends because she was also going through a divorce. We are very different, but our loneliness brought us together and now I have a to do stuff with and commiserate with and its much better for me. So you need to just get off your 'boo-hoo' stool, and dry your tears, and CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY. Find something to be happy about. A beautiful day, a roof over your head, a great, a steady job. whatever it takes. Stop looking outside for validation, and validate yourself from the inside out!! And maybe get some counseling!! and learn how to start living alone, without feeling bad about it. Good luck to you oh, and finding and with a spiritual life helps too. Some people say its a crutch, but if your leg or heart or anything is broken, a crutch helps. :) need a friend with the chance to become moreSo, the other day bf and I had a discussion about $$ and who should pay for what. My point was that, as I do not have an ownership stake in his home (I pay rent), I shouldn't have to pay for things like upkeep and improvements to the home. BF agreed and that was that. But his response didn't sit right with me because it was clear that he hadn't really EVER considered WHEN we might be joining finances, becoming a "team" and, well, committing to togetherness for the term. And me being me, after a day or two of worrying/wondering about it, I broached the subject of term togetherness with BF. Frankly, I thought we HAD committed to that when we agreed to move in together, but that BF needed a few months to make sure that, under the same roof, we all worked well together. He and I are very, very happy with each other. He told me, when I couldn't stop myself from raising the issue of "what about the, term do you us together? Is that what you want?" that I was the best thing to ever happen to him and that he didn't want to "push me away" with his failure to act/plan for the future. He can't quite articulate just WHAT he needs or wants for the future. He just keeps saying that he's not accustomed to thinking about his future and that doing so makes him very anxious (he has anxiety issues anyway). From my point of view, at this point in our relationship, seeing a future together should fill him with happiness, not anxiety. He's going to make an appt with his therapist to if he can work through his issues. In the meantime, I'm not sure what to do. I am afraid of what the therapy turn up, but that's not rational if the therapy reveals some deep-seated crap, it's better to know that now, right? If it's just not ever going to happen, I need to know that, too. I feel very passive right now, but I've stated my piece and need to let him figure out HIS plans and desires. I don't think there's anything I can do. I guess I'm just anxious where, a week ago, I would have said I was feeling very secure. Damn. premium dating match
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