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Something that's happening to me at a rate of speed now, that's surprising, unexpected, and I have no control of it, really (not that I'm wanting any control of it). It's just happening and a lot. It feels as if all of those classes in meditation and relaxation techniques that I taught when I was in my fourties(?) and all of my 'spiritual' books that I read mostly back then, that I keep in my library now(?) it all made sense to me then, but it was all a pale reflection of what Mother Nature is dishing out to me now, in the name of 'enlightenment'. I always had compassion for my husband, including when he became my former husband, and even when he was *hideous*. But I had a measure of Big Fear, and not enough backbone, to really deal with him. Now, our conversations are dominated by the presence of my Big, and I'm met with these silences from him, and more sweetness. He senses a change, and he's somewhat taken back. Then, there's other things that have taken shape in other significant relationships that I have. It's all clear, understandable, and fitting, really. This 'Goddess business' that I kid about is actually something that I take to heart. I want my candle to burn all the way down before I pass on. I want to all the way. Which is what's happening now. Gonna go polish my furniture now! God, I housekeeping!!! (not kidding) Big, Your nutty internet pal!!! black people meet Kampong WakubaHolding out for that "perfect job" is like the following: Waiting until you have enough money to have. Waiting until you have that promotion (only 2 more years!) to take that vacation. Waiting until next week to stop over at your moms house. I empathize with you because depression is not an easy thing to get past, but she needs to stop "waiting for". Take the next damned job that comes along. Better to hate the job, make money and actively search for "that perfect job" than to keep straining resources that are dwindling at an exponential rate. Something she needs to consider: What if you take ill or are hurt and unable to work? She needs a job, any job until she lands whatever dream job she wants. She can job hunt in her off time. "Life is what happens while you are planning for it." She is in a holding pattern, and she needs to land the plane. Because if you run out of fuel, things are going to get a whole lot worse, REAL quick..: The last one is real prophetic. If I had not waited, I might have seen my mother one last time before she passed away suddenly. I regret that more than anyone ever knows. Waiting kill you with "what ifs" more than you ever know. don't let her continue with it. singles swinger
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